Flying Triangle

More NY Photos

2012-02-15T19:26:00.001-08:00

With Cathleen and Debbie, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

The conference is over! It went very well and I survived to have dinner tonight with two dear friends I don't see often enough. Ready to call my sweetheart then tumble into the Land of Nod. Home tomorrow!

In New York

2012-02-12T18:37:00.001-08:00

View from the Marriott Marquis, New York, NY, Feb 2012, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

Just a quick note and a couple of pix. I'm very glad to be here, though I'm dreading the next two days, they're going to be very busy. On the bright side, it's just two days. It was very cold today and I'm happy to report that I packed appropriate outwear, including one of my felted hats. For the very first time in my decade of work travels, I actually went to the hotel gym this morning. That was great. And I've had one of my most active weekends in quite a while--thank you Fitbit, thank you New York! And thanks to Sara and Chan, I had a lovely dinner with them and the kids tonight. Nothing like breaking bread with family to make one feel able to face the world.

Grand Central Station

Mounted police in Times Square

Happy February

2012-02-05T14:19:00.005-08:00

Life's pleasantries continue.

I made bean soup last night and am baking bread today--we were invited up to a friend's house for the Superbowl, which I'm very grateful for, both to see friends and to see the game. I'm not sure the streaming channels will be in operation today.

Last weekend M and I went to see a friend in the chorus of a local production of Chicago. It was fun seeing local theater. The solo numbers were a little static, but the singing was very good, as were the dancing numbers.

I'm working on finishing the laptop cozy. It felted up to a good size, very cozy around the Mac indeed. (The photo is before felting.) I'm trying to decorate it now with some needle felting--I was playing with clouds but M pointed out the base yarn didn't look like a day sky, it's more a night sky color, so now I'm trying moon and stars. I also need to get to Rachel's 50th gift, but I finally admitted to myself that the yarn I got for her at the Sock Summit last July just isn't pleasant to work with. I'm thinking I may need to find new yarn.

The Fitbit is working well to keep me active. I need to make more of an effort to lower my calorie intake if I want to get very far with the weight loss part of my goals, but I definitely feel better. And the dogs are happier--they're getting more time wandering around the field. Roxy nabbed a gopher the other day. She was so very proud of herself. I'm glad she didn't gobble it down like the last one.

One challenge to activity will be work travel. A week from now I'll be in New York for our first show of the year. It should be a really great one--LeVar Burton will be speaking!--but it will be three very long days plus the travel and setup. I have a couple of dinners planned with family and friends, so that will be nice.

On the not-so-bright side, I've been having car troubles. I've taken the Cadillac to a new mechanic, and I may find out tomorrow if it will be either a $200 fix or the cylinder heads. If it turns out to be the latter, he has refused to do the work, and means I'll be shopping for a new car. I admit, not having a reliable ride has been a source of stress for me lately.

Pleasantries

2012-01-16T18:24:00.000-08:00

January has continued on its low-key contented note. The weather remains eerily clear and dry, which I know is bad but has made finding motivation to walk the dogs easier.

On Friday, I visited the letterpress studio where I'll be taking a few classes.

I won't start til March, but there's an open house next month where visitors can pull a few Valentine's Day cards, so that will be fun. Nothing better than free beautiful cards! The proprietor seems like a very nice guy. He's a poet and has a very whimsical, cartoon-y sensibility. His studio puts out very arty small books rather the usual business cards and wedding invitations, so I'm curious how he stays in business. Did you know that capital type used to be stored above the others, so that's why it's called upper and lower case type? He also offers classes for typesetting poems, which I feel a little torn about. In principle I like poems, and words generally, to speak for themselves and eschew fancy layouts, but how a poem looks on a page can be artful and help interpretation, so I'm interested in exploring that.

Also on Friday I started feeling the creep of a cold yet again, gah! Very annoying to have my energy sapped...again. I still managed to hie myself down to a work related event in San Jose for most of the day on Saturday while M stayed home to tend the Smokenator. I made it home in time to see the drama that was the 49er-Saints playoff game (sorry, Rob)--we've found a way to stream the game on the laptop hooked up to the TV. It's not very high-def, but very watchable. Thank goodness we didn't discover this earlier in the season.

On Sunday, there was more lolling about, football, and then friend Rachel's 50th birthday party. I felt bad dragging my germs to her party and spent the first hour drenched in sweat despite the chill in the hall they had rented, but I was so glad I went. It was good to be a small part of a friend's well deserved celebration.

I was only intending to stay for an hour or so, but I felt pretty good after having a little food, and dancing and mingling and catching up with friends I don't see enough of helped to energize me. The only downer is I can't find my FitBit and I worry that it popped off during the party somehow.

M had to work today, so I just took it easy, knitted and read, chatted with Felicia a little via Facebook about her arrival in Germany (I'm so happy for her!). I did walk the dogs twice. I haven't been eating much, so I treated myself with a dinner of French fries. In not so pleasant news, M announced that we need to install a new water heater since the one we have now, probably original to the house, has a leak. We'll be shopping for that tomorrow or the next day. But, better to save a little in water and better insulation, and of course a lot of possible damage to the house if something went awry. It's just a little after 6:00 p.m. and I am ready for bed!

Happy MLK Day. I listened to the whole "I Have a Dream" speech broadcast on NPR, and while I'm glad that strides have been made in civil rights, I also wish we didn't have so far to go. Time, time, time...

Happy 2012

2012-01-09T20:56:00.000-08:00

It's a new year. A dozen years since the 21st century began, and somehow those numbers seem significant, maybe because it's a little easier to keep track of how quickly time is passing by. I'm feeling a bit more urgency to make the right life decisions, impatience at things I think waste my time, desire for a higher level of happiness. At the Box yesterday, we Pointy Pals were talking New Year's resolutions, and "practicing happiness" was a clear winner. Understanding what makes me happy and embracing even small wonders is another exercise of mind I intend to grasp more fully. It's funny how sometimes I think that perfection is so huge and unattainable and yet can also be achieved simply by putting away the Christmas ornaments for another year or sweeping up the sawdust from the patio or just smiling at a stranger and seeing them smile back, a little surprised. Maybe it's practicing the present for its own sake, and not thinking so much about what was, wasn't, or might be. Unless, of course, one is blogging about the past and future, in which case it's completely unavoidable, ha ha.

Also during the Pointy Pal chat, I realized I still haven't settled on a midlife crisis. What shall I be in my next phase? Right now, letterpress operator is high on the list. I contacted a local printer right then and there, and I may tour the studio as early as tomorrow. Cheesemaker is also in the running--just this afternoon I joined a local artisan cheesemaking group, called the Wheyfinders, another ha ha. Suddenly my dance card is getting full. With activities that involve other people, gah! You know how I hate people. There's a knitting class I want to take, a couple of concerts to make plans for, all that woven around the work travel that's starting up. Oh, and I agreed to be a mentor as part of a startup incubator program! I'm very excited about that. I fell into the total female stereotype of asking myself, "Do they really want me? Am I really qualified?" (Which I quickly corrected to "Do I have the right expertise?") And even when I asked these questions of the program founder, he assured me I did. They wouldn't have asked me otherwise, right?

Midlife crisis suggestions welcome.

It's M's birthday today. He and I have both been feeling irrationally optimistic lately. We've talked about it and aren't sure why, but we're just going to ride it as long as it lasts. Happy new year to us, and to us all!

And happy birthday, Jay!

Scenes from a Vacation

2011-12-31T19:57:00.001-08:00

Family Dinner at Sierra Nevada Brewery, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

Happy Nearly New Year! It's been a lovely holiday so far. And there are still a few days of vacation left.

I started off my vacation by taking in a rendition of The Santaland Diaries with a friend from work, which I really enjoyed. Then M and I bore down and prepared our abode for visitors.

M's mom was first, arriving on Tuesday after her drive up from Placentia. We used her visit as motivation to finally dine at Bistro 29, which we enjoyed. We spent a spring-like Wednesday in The City, taking in the Masters of Venice exhibit at the de Young Museum and wandering over to the Conservatory of Flowers. After a little driving tour we had dinner at the Ferry Building. Thursday they spent luncheoning on seafood overlooking Tomales bay while I ran errands and finally created our Christmas card. Costco makes it easy to procrastinate! We had dinner in, watched The Princess Bride, then bid her safe travels Friday morning.

Mom and Don came down Saturday, and we had a nice time preparing for our Christmas Eve meal with Jay, Denise, Felicia, and Erin, an occasion to use the wedding china. M did his first turkey on the rotisserie.

It was a pleasant and quiet Christmas Day. We visited with the Axtells of Redding again and the Reids in their fab new pad. Some friends of theirs were spending the holidays in LA, so a picking party was dispatched to Forestville to relieve them of a surfeit of tangerines. That was a fun activity. Some knitting was accomplished, leftovers consumed, and Don was kind enough to tackle the branches of the encroaching oak tree.

Mom and Don took the dogs while M and I repaired to Chico to meet up with Dad and the sibling clans. It was a mellow family visit, grouping in various formations, mostly around meals. It was good to have both big group dinners and smaller breakfasts with Dad and the brothers. The trip also coincided with end of Felicia's college days at CSU Chico, an event I'm still trying to get my head around. She's...an adult. How did that happen? Unfortunately M contracted a cough that he is still combatting.

On the way home from Chico, we spent a very brief time on the coast collecting the canines and eating well as usual.

This time away from the office has made it quite clear to me that work is interfering substantially with my knitting projects. Not all have been successful, unfortunately. The first laptop cozy felted up laughably small, while the second wasn't much better. Felicia's slippers turned out pretty well, however, and I whipped her up what I hope she agrees is a cute hat from my stash (green chenille with some silver bling). How could she go to Germany in winter without one? Shocking.

In other activities: I finished Emma and really enjoyed it. I'm back to the Master & Commander series for a bit. I've baked bread, made some bean soup, continued on my braising kick. Use of the Fitbit has been marginal (it took its own little technical vacay during the Chico visit), but it continues to remind me to be more active, with moderate success. Today we took a trip to the massive Salvation Army in Lytton Springs then saw the new Sherlock Holmes movie. Will I make it awake to the ringing in of the new year?

Two hours and twenty-two minute to midnight. What will 2012 hold? The neighbors are already igniting fireworks (I've put a blanket on the sofa to accommodate Roxy's phobia--laps are apparently the only safe port in a gun powder storm for her) and blowing noisemakers to ward off evil spirits. On the way home from picking up the dogs, we heard a Fresh Air interview with Maurice Sendak. It was a very tearful and heartfelt and thoughtful retrospective at the the end of his life. He concluded the conversation with this good advice: "Live your life. Live your life. Live your life."

Not Much of an Update

2011-12-11T10:57:00.001-08:00

There's just not a lot going on, but I think that's A Good Thing.

I've been down to a couple of work-related parties in the City the last two weeks. M came with me to one of them during the first week of December and we had a good dinner at Farmer Brown after. He had jambalaya for the first time and I had grits for the first time (with pumpkin and pomegranate seeds--it was quite tasty), though grits are an awful lot like polenta. At the one last week, I had to give a little toast and hand out raffle prizes in front of the group, so I was a bit nervous. But it fit into my goal of speaking more, so I just kept telling myself that they wanted me to do well, they were excited about the gifts so very willing to put up with my babbling, and speaking is something I really want to do for myself so just do it. I think it went fine.

I've been wearing the Fitbit religiously, and that's been helping me be more active. I've gotten to the gym more and have resolved to walk the dogs on weekend mornings too, not just evenings. (I had quite a scare this morning while walking them in the field: Rex came across a neighbor cat that streaked off for home through a gap in the fence and across the road just as a car was coming, with Rex in full chase. Luckily the car saw them and slowed in time, but that really freaked me out. Rex of course was completely confused about why I scolded him.) The Fitbit is helping me eat a little less too, but I find that I'm just not willing to spend the time to enter in all of my food info. I know it's key to getting the full picture of my intake/output, but while the website has a fair amount of nutritional info, it's still a pain to try to figure out some of my meals, particularly dinners I make myself. I did come to the conclusion that if I gave up beer, I could take off weight much more quickly, but I'm not yet willing to do that. Too much good porter out there! I finally got on the scale a few days ago, and even though it was just a couple of pounds, it had moved in the right direction, which is saying something as season's eatings gets underway. And overall, I just feel better being more active.

I'm finishing up a bunch of knitting projects today and hope to be doing a load of felting this afternoon. Since a couple are Christmas gifts, hoping they'll all turn out OK! This was the first time in my knitting career that I had three to four projects all going at once. I like it. We're starting up the lunchtime knitting group in the office again, we'll see how long that lasts. I work with some amazingly good knitters, they're quite inspiring.

One more week in the office and then I'm out til the New Year! I am really looking forward to time at home. We went from having no plans to suddenly entertaining/visiting with all of the parental units after all, which is great. That all kind of falls in the middle of my vacation, so I'll have time to clean and prepare for it all without much stress.

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-29T21:31:00.001-08:00

With the Axtells of Chico, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

Another turkey day slipped into history last week. M and I went up the coast as usual, but it was a larger celebration this year. Brother Mark brought his clan over from Chico and niece Felicia subjected her new beau to our scrutiny later in the holiday. There was a lot of good eating, good weather, walks on the beach and trash picking on said beaches, potato gun shooting, cards, games, and sleeping. It was the best in a long line of wonderful Thanksgivings--even more to be thankful for.

A Monday P.S. to Sunday

2011-11-14T20:16:00.001-08:00

Yarn on the hoof at Windrush Farm, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

It was a lovely day on Sunday, so we were able to take the motorcycle to write with the other Pointy Pals in the morning. On the way home, we took a detour to a sheep farm that had invited local artisans, mostly knitters and spinners, to gather for a holiday sale. So not only did I add some lovely hand dyed and spun stuff to my bulging yarn stash, I had a tasty wood-fired pizza for lunch, munching it among the flies and cow patties of the pasture turned alfresco dining area. Thank goodness I was hungry. We kept our eyes focused on the bucolic views of the Chileno Valley during that part.

*****

I started wearing my Fitbit yesterday, and after a somewhat discouraging start, today was much better, balancing yesterday's caloric overage, mostly because I went back to the gym for the first time in nearly a month. In other data, apparently I only slept 4.5 hours last night. I feel pretty darn perky for so little sleep, so maybe I'm not wearing it right. Or maybe the melatonin makes my dreams so active that it tricks the Fitbit. Tonight is another night, for wool gathering of all sorts.

Some New Work Tasks

2011-11-13T12:51:00.000-08:00

I've been given a new work assignment that I'm totally thrilled about: writing for our news site, O'Reilly Radar. My first article went up on Friday, and it’s gotten some comments even! I guess this means I really have to get serious about my public speaking. Yikes. Public speaking really is a skill I’d like to be comfortable with and good at, but it still is very intimidating. Maybe I should give the beta blockers (what are they--do I need a prescription?) a whirl as some of the commenters suggest.

My new work duties have changed how I consume information now. When I listen to the radio or read messages in my Inbox or Facebook posts, I'm now thinking, "What's the news angle--should I write about that?" and "What's well-executed about that story?" It's fun and energizing and inspiring. I also plan to use my new status as a reporter to get into events for free on a press pass. We’ll see how that goes!

In other exciting news, I bought my first new computer in over a decade: an 11” MacBook Air (I bought it on Nerd New Year, aka Nigel Tufnel Day, aka 11/11/11). It’s not a lot bigger than an iPad, but I wanted more functionality than the tablet provided so I realized I needed an actual computer. I’m not sure if I can get used to the small screen, but I have 10 more days to play with it before the no-questions-asked return deadline when I can swap it for the bigger size. That should be enough time to figure out if this is the right size for me.

Today is my first day with the Fitbit. I’ve already eaten half of my caloric allotment and I don’t think I’ve expended my energy at all. Hopefully just having to log everything I eat will help me consume less. I’m going to try to sleep with it tonight--I hope it’s not too uncomfortable (it has a little wristband for nighttime wear).

I forgot to post this photo of a souvenir I brought back from Wilbur. We’re using it to prop open our front gate, and it’s a nice regular reminder of the last Wilbur visit.

I also forgot to wish Rex a happy birthday at Halloween--like Nigel’s amp, he goes all the way to 11 now!

Time Change

2011-11-06T08:44:00.001-08:00

We fell back this morning, piped into the time change by a good quantity of rain. A sharp contrast to the weather the last few weekends, which (when I've been in town) has had a much closer resemblance to summer.

The holidays are already here, of course. While I was shopping for candy on Halloween, the ghoulish items created for us American consumers in China (what do they think of us, I wonder, as they finish off faux rubber masks, fill tubes of fake blood, six-foot tall resin nutcrackers, and inflatable snowmen trapped in inflatable snowglobes?) had already been replaced by red, green, and white Christmas items. I have my order in to Whole Foods for the Thanksgiving turkey, to M's specifications. He's pretty much planned out the whole menu already, to be executed at Mom's, as usual. Yesterday we received a letter from the Christmas tree farm where we "hunted" (their word) our tree last year with our $5 discount for this time around.

It's funny, we don't have any plans for Christmas yet. The office is closed again for the days between Christmas eve and New Year's day, and I've taken the four days before off, so two whole weeks for the price of four vacation days. It's a great time to be on vacation, too, since everyone else is and you don't come back feeling oppressed by the amount of work that's pile up while you've been gone. What shall we do?

I did purchase a New Year's resolution item yesterday: a Fitbit. I'd met a woman at a conference last June who raved about hers, and one of my old college chums has been reporting his losses on Facebook, thanks to its inspiration. I'd been thinking about it for a while, and the need to spend my birthday bucks pushed me into the Yes zone. I've been feeling very unhappy with my weight this last year, and I hope this tool will help me be more mindful about what I eat and how active I am, two things that are heading in the opposite of the right direction for me.

Well, time to get ready to go--I have a rendezvous with the writerly Pointy Pals today, our first gathering in months! Julia's novel has been accepted for publication so it's time to celebrate with her in person. That's a very exciting development.

Wilbur and Halloween

2011-10-31T21:29:00.001-07:00

With Grandma and Felicia, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

Boo!

I'm back from a great visit with Grandma and Felicia.

Niece and I rendezvous'd in Seattle, then flew east together to Spokane, picked up the rental SUV then drove west to Wilbur with enough time to spare to see Grandma before dinner on Friday evening. We dined at Boyd's place, a fairly new establishment. Not bad, though my somewhat unappetizing "view" during the meal was of a mural that mashed up scenes from WWII (battleships, the raising of the flag at Iwo Jima) and Vietnam (bandaging wounds, a likeness of the memorial statue on the Mall).

It was a bit chillier than California to say the least, so we drove for breakfast to Sandy's on Saturday then walked up to to see Grandma for a few hours before lunch. As always, it's so good to hear how she's doing and catch up on family tree news.

During lunch, Felicia and I did a little shopping at Manntiques. I picked up an iron shoe last to stopper the front gate, which of course meant I was searched at GEG on the way home. We did a quick tour of the cemetery (the trees are coming back nicely from that ice storm a couple of years ago), then headed down SR 21 for a photo op at Axtell Road. We took some arty shots of the family farm while we were there--it's slowly crumbling onto the field that once supported it.

Another few hours with Grandma, then we headed down to dinner at The Alibi. While Wilbur overall isn't thriving--the drug store and the dry goods store/gym have both closed since my last visit--The Alibi and Boyd's Place both had costume parties planned for that night. There weren't many people in The Alibi while we were there, but as they were setting up for karaoke (this amazed me, for Wilbur), more arrived and we were treated to some pretty racy get-ups. Despite urging from the barkeep to come back and croon, we turned in early.

Sunday was a brief goodbye with Grandma, then back to Spokane for the flights home. Unfortunately, due to mechanical trouble, I parted from Felicia early and missed my one and only direct flight to Santa Rosa. I got as close as Sacramento, however, and M very sweetly drove all the way over to pick me up. It was nice having a little drive time with him after a weekend away.

*****

Tonight is Halloween. I was a little worried about the dogs and small costumed people mixing, so per Felicia's suggestion, I creeped out our breezeway and set a bowl of candy at the end of it with at "take one if you dare" sign. I was just going to leave it at that, but when I overheard our neighbor scaring his own child while he was grabbing a treat, it inspired me. So I've been hanging out in the TV room with fangs and a flashlight, appearing suddenly at the window overlooking the breezeway and doing a crazy laugh here and there as children come up. I've really scared the pants off of a couple of them, it's been pretty fun. I think I've also scared Roxy a bit too, poor thing.

Another Weekend at Home!

2011-10-23T18:05:00.001-07:00

View from the Palace, San Francisco, CA Oct 2011, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

Last weekend was just one day, but M made my Sunday at work very palatable. He drove me down to the conference hotel, a particularly lovely hotel built in the late 1800s and waited for me to finish my duties so we could spend some time together. We had a delicious dinner at Salt House before he left for home, and that really got me off to a good start. That conference was my last one for the year, and it's such a relief.

I've spent the whole weekend at home, and it's been a wonderful two days. The weather is helping me enjoy it--it's been downright hot during the day, a sort of enforced relaxation temperature. I had breakfast (OK, a piece of homemade bread and butter, but still…) out on the deck this morning. It's almost the end of October, people! That was my second morning sojourn outside--I awoke at 4:09 a.m. and, recalling M telling me that the meteor shower would be peaking about then, I decided to check it out. I did not see unusual celestial bodies, but it was 10 minutes of star gazing well spent. What else? I finally got around to pruning the roses. We baked bread and did another round of the deep dish pizza from Cooks Illustrated. I've made very good progress on the knitted tshirt, overcoming pattern confusion to create the armholes. We went to the library book sale--I picked up a copy of Emma and a cookbook that is a companion to the Aubrey-Maturin naval fiction series by Patrick O'Brian (I can tell you I don't think I'll be making Spotted Dog or Drowned Baby anytime soon, though M is eyeing the Sea Pie recipe with enthusiasm). We watched a few episodes of the new season of "Chuck." We took a motorcycle ride this afternoon, wending our way up Westside Road amongst the vineyards just starting their descent into gold and red. We paused in Healdsburg for frozen yogurt while people watching at the pinot noir festival and then taking in the last of the very sad Raider game at a bar before heading home. Yes, a satisfying weekend indeed.

Back from New York

2011-10-14T13:09:00.001-07:00

View from the Sheraton, New York, NY Oct 2011, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

This last was a much more whirlwind-work focused trip to New York. I'm officially unhappy with traveling and working on weekends.

On the bright side, thanks to the magic of Facebook, I discovered that cousin Kamala was in New York that first weekend, too. After muscling my way up Fifth Avenue through the Hispanic Day throngs to get there, we had a spontaneous rendezvous in Central Park on Sunday afternoon. What a treat that was, to sit and chat and have a beer in the Indian summer warmth, watching the holiday weekend activity.

Sunday evening I met up with my usual New York date Cathleen. She arranged for Don to join us, someone else from our NYU days who I hadn't seen in ages. He's taken to bicycling and is coming off of a three-year long divorce. He was more intense than I'd remembered him and conversation turned to politics more than the personal. That was a refreshing change of pace, and really got me out of my head.

I did get out a bit during the week, slipping away from conference duties to do some venue research for our conference in February. That was a good change of pace too, and got me outside and walking.

As always, there were food adventures. The Sunday night squash ravioli was a highlight of my trip. I mashed thread-like frites into my gob while passing through the Madison Square food tents on Wednesday afternoon, and wished I'd had enough energy to go back for a real meal. M and I had a favorite Chinese restaurant near the apartment when we live in New York, and were disappointed to find it closed on visits back to the 'hood. I think I discovered where it relocated to this trip, and while I enjoyed having that takeout experience of yore, waiting smashed up against the counter watching the cooks crank out dish after sizzling dish, I was disappointed with my meal. The cold sesame noodles didn't taste right and the broccoli with garlic sauce was sour-ish. Thursday morning, knowing I was facing a long day filled with bad airport food, I nipped out to the corner independent Halal food truck and scarfed down some of the best rice and falafel (with just a little white and hot sauce) I've had in a very long time. The balls were fresh fried--I think it was earlier than most people normally consume it. It made me remember that I haven't had good falafel since I've been back to Califonia.

This month marks a year that dear Roxy dog has been with us. It's still competitive between the canines and the quantity of shed dog hair is surprising, but I do love her so.

Fifty

2011-10-02T19:24:00.001-07:00

It's October, and a long time since I've posted. But as I mentioned to a friend recently, blogging means I have to set down in words how I feel about turning 50, and quite frankly, it's not pleasant. It's been an intensely wonderful couple of weeks, thank goodness, so there is a positive balance to hitting the half-century mark, but there's no getting around it, and I'm not feeling particularly gracious or ready to go gentle in that good night about aging. Yes, I know that when (and hopefully it's a when and not an if) I reach the next birthday with a zero, I'll look back and be grateful for this one, just as I reasoned with myself in a similar way a decade ago.

Turning 40, staring out the tent that morning in Monument Valley to watch the sun rise over one of the most beautiful landscapes on earth, I thought the same thing. I don't like it yet I know that ten years from now it will seem like a much better age and I should just enjoy it while I can. I've been trying to do that, and sure enough I've liked celebrating being older even less as I had anticipated. But frankly, shaking my fist at the good night doesn't do a thing to stop the sands of time, to mix a few phrases. Helplessness is not my strong suit.

Part of it is that it's different, these last ten years. I've felt changes in myself physically that I didn't when I went from being 30 to 40. Yes it would be better to lose weight and go to the gym more, but there aren't any Zumba classes for eyesight, nor cardio for hearing. I don't like the decline one bit. On the bright side, it's actually a little easier now that I'm on the other side of September. I was dreading the birthday, but it's come and gone and I was surrounded by so much love and affection that even in my foulest moods I can't deny that I am one incredibly lucky gal.

I hope I've been able to express how grateful I am to everyone who helped lift me over the milestone.

Below is a recap the activities that made last month bearable for me. So much happened and it's been a while--I hope I don't leave anything out. Cast your mind back, back! to September 10:

I've pulled off a few surprise parties in my day, so I know what goes into them. And on that Saturday, I still had no idea that I was heading straight into the maw of a surprise party myself. Despite a birthday with a zero, I really didn't think it would happen. I would conveniently be traveling on my birthday, just as I was a decade ago--I would be out of the reach of surprise, dammit.

Plausibility is the key for a successful setting-up the surprise event, and the story that M and I were meeting niece Felicia for lunch was just such a tale. I didn't notice the familiar cars parked outside of Mike and Debbie's new house, but I did remark to myself that they must have pretty rude neighbors for so many of them to be stationed right in front. And walking into the house, I saw that there were dishes of food on the table near the back window and thought to myself that we shouldn't linger since Debbie was obviously having a shindig of some sort. And then everyone appeared shouting "Surprise!" It was truly the best gift I could have had.

I'm tearing up a little just thinking about it again. I am so touched and amazed that so many people gave up their weekend and came from so far to celebrate with me. It was a great party. We swam (M ran home to get my swimming suit), ate (including a spectacular red velvet birthday cake) and drank, visited. It was odd being the center of attention so unexpectedly.

We asked everyone at the party over for breakfast on Sunday morning before they departed for home and luckily just about everyone was able to make it, thankfully coming in waves rather than all at once so that our small pad was able to accommodate. It gave me another chance to appreciate the people in my life, and treat them back just a little.

Late that morning I picked up longtime friend Rachel and we headed down to Berkeley to rendezvous with our other gal pals. All was well until we were making our way through the suburban streets and the Cadillac just sort of stopped running. I was able to pull off to a parking spot safely til our friends came and then the tow truck driver, who deposited the car near my friend's house--she promised to keep an eye on it while I was in NY.

We then proceeded to have our gals day out--we picked up sandwiches at the local gourmet grocery then consumed them in a rose garden overlooking the bay, catching up. By happy circumstance, my friend's husband and son were in San Francisco for a baseball game, so they swung by to convey us back home. M met us at their place and we had an impromptu dinner all together at a local sports bar.

The New York adventure started on Wednesday, September 14. Despite an early morning alarm snafu, our sojourn to JFK was uneventful. We took a hired towncar into the city and checked into our hotel, the Fairfield Inn near Port Authority. I had noted when I made my reservations that this was a birthday trip, so they gave us an upgraded room and a little goodie bag when we checked in! It was the classic tiny Manhattan hotel room, and we laughed about what it would have been like if we hadn't gotten the upgrade. We wandered through the evening streets to Eataly for a so-so dinner (it was still so crowded! but it was fun having salad in the greens section then moving to the pasta room for main course; oh how I love all the white marble counters there…) followed by good gelato and another walk through the streets back to the hotel, ogling the lights and tourists in Times Square.

M was very good about peeling back the activities he had planned slowly. He revealed plans every day so it was a steady stream of surprises, but left enough time to do things spontaneously.

Thursday morning we slept late--no dogs! no work!--had coffee at Dean & Deluca, then took the subway up the west side and walked through Central Park towards Fifth Avenue. We spent most of the day getting lost in the various wings of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, taking our time to gawk at things we've seen many times and others we haven't seen much of: the arms and armor rooms (reading Cornwall's Richard Sharpe series really helped me appreciate the flintlocks), Egyptian wing, Infinite Jest special exhibit (political satire cartoons from the 18th century), French classical painting from the 1700s, tapestries, modern photography…yet again I was reminded of what a magical place it is.

We came out of the MoMA to the surprise of drizzle, which turned to rain as we neared the subway. We spent time in our little room drying off before taking the train to the Lower East Side for dinner at Les Enfants Terrible, a French colonial inspired dive just a couple of block from the show we were to see that night, Arias with a Twist. From the name, I assumed it would star a songbird in drag. I was right, but did not anticipate that the costars would be puppeteers! It was a lot of fun. And walking there, we saw another side of New York we don't always see, the quieter urban neighborhood that didn't seem all that far from the southern California streets we knew as children.

On Friday we were the consummate New York tourists. We ate mini cupcakes from a truck on the way to waiting in long lines to go to the top of the Empire State building. The previous day's rain and wind had cleared the sky and we had wonderful views everywhere.

We wandered to Hill Country Chicken (my first encounter with deep fried avocado) near the Flatiron building for lunch then subwayed down to the tip of Manhattan to ride the Staten Island Ferry there and back again. I drank a tall boy with a straw on the way back just for old times sake.

We had a little time to change before dinner, a lovely meal at the crowded Marseilles where we sat crushed close on a banquette watching the hip young folk at the bar. Then we finished off our uber tourist day with wonderful seats at How to Succeed in Business, starring Daniel Radcliffe and John Larroquette. It was a truly satisfying musical comedy experience--wonderful acting, singing, and dancing, including a tap number! And proof that it was a live theater experience: near the end of the second act, the stage manager stepped out and stopped the show after a mic had gone dead and some of the set lights had flashed. Was it all part of the show? I wondered at first. After ten minutes or so, the stage manager announced that all was ready, let us know where the actors would pick up the number, and off they went. It was fun seeing the characters break and the actors taking their places with a little banter.

Saturday the 17th. The big day. It ended up being one of our quietest, least activity-driven days, which was just what I needed. M and I packed up and moved to the conference hotel, then took the train down to lower Lexington and met up with the Manhattan Madhus, who treated us to much missed South Indian food at Saravanaas. Afterwards, we repaired to their pad, admired the apartment renovations, and they busted out a lovely cake and sang "Happy Birthday" to me. We spent the afternoon enjoying family company, just as we used to do years ago--it was such a treat and comfort.

That evening we took the train to Sheridan Square and walked along Bleecker Street to Cornelia to dine at the hole-in-the-wall restaurant Home, continuing the relaxing day experience. There were just a few other diners there when we arrived. M negotiated a special vegetarian meal for me, and it was really a topper of a dining experience, which considering the meals we had is saying a lot. They brought us complimentary sparkling wine and butterscotch pudding at the end to go with the still-warm chocolate pudding M ordered, and I'm now a pudding fan as I've never been before. I guess that's an unintended gift too.

We walked from Home to Washington Square, thinking of our NYU days, admiring the arch, then to Cooper Square where M pushed the cube for old time's sake before we boarded the train for the hotel.

And then it was back to work on Sunday. I did have time to have dinner that night with M, who left on Monday. It was a very long week. The first three days of the show were not well attended, and so disappointing. We also had to switch to a different hotel during the day on Wednesday while the conference finished at the first hotel. The last two days were much better, which was a relief. And I did have a little time for fun. One of the conference evening events was at a place called Eyebeam, and I had several pleasant chats while I was there, despite the occasional annoying hotflashes. I walked back to the hotel with some work friends, along part of the Highline. On Thursday night I walked the entire Highline with another group of work friends, one being our photographer, which was particularly nice since she kept us at a slower pace and I was able to observe more, appreciating the quiet that sprang from the vegetation as well as the different architectural styles that the walk took us through. On my last night in town I met my friend Cathleen for dinner at a delightful Italian place, Abbocato, (real burrata and beet ravioli!) where I drank a lot of delicious wine while we caught up.

My last morning in New York was very much like one of my first memories of when I first moved there 25 (has it been so long?) years ago. Back then, I spent hours one evening walking uptown, past Madison Square Garden where the Knicks were playing, past Radio City where the Rockettes danced, up through Central Park where Peggy Fleming was presiding over the opening of the skating rink for the season. I couldn't believe that I lived in such a place--anything seemed possible and I could encounter anyone or anything in the world. I felt that way again that morning. I was up a bit early while the city was quiet. I eschewed the hotel Starbucks on the blind faith that I would find for some "real" coffee, and sure enough I found a stimulating cup almost by accident along 58th street as I worked my way uptown. Approaching the front of the Plaza Hotel, there were a dozen stone-faced men in black suits with matching SUVs watching over whom, I wondered--the president? UN week was ending. At the entrance to the park, I stopped for a waffle and pleasant chat at a food truck, the perfect companion to my excellent coffee. I strolled up through the zoo among the many dog people and their unleashed canines--I had never seen so many happy dogs running around in my life and the energy was amazing. I met Sara and Gus and we chatted and meandered past one of my favorite statues, King Jagiello then saw Belvedere Castle rising above the pond and the Great Lawn. We parted ways in front of her building and I stopped at Butterfields for plane ride supplies then took the 6 train to Grand Central and people-watched in the beautiful space for a bit before walking back up to the Hilton by way of 47th Street, pausing at the many windows filled with dazzling diamonds. Of all places, I think Manhattan helps me understand how a multiverse might be possible.

But wait, there's more to my NY adventure. My friend Cathleen happened to be heading to California for a speaking engagement. She was not only on my flight, but had a seat next to one of my colleagues, who kindly switched with me so we could have more time together. While we flew, Cathleen pulled out her iPad and whipped up a little cartoon of us and our grumpy row-mate (I can't blame him, he'd been hit in the head several times by other passengers).

We landed an hour early, but poor M was stuck in traffic, so was even later than he planned to be picking me up. We crawled through more traffic into Berkeley and called AAA to have the Cadillac towed to Santa Rosa. What a relief that was to have the car nearby!

Coming home, I had even more cards and gifts waiting for me, a nice consolation for being gone so long. Gave me that "they really love me" glow all over again.

*****

It was a busy week at work. I got back to the gym. My car is fixed, though I took it to a new mechanic who worked with one of his mechanic neighbors and hopefully the new fuel pump I was charged for is indeed there since I wasn't given a receipt.

Yesterday, M and I attended a lovely wedding that had been in the planning stages for months, which really built up the anticipation. I attended the bridal shower a few months ago, and promptly forgot the wedding colors until I showed up at the ceremony in a purple gown that looked an awful lot like what the bridesmaids were wearing--I was mortified! Though I wasn't the only purple bedecked guest, thank goodness. I don't think I've been to a wedding since my own, and both M and I got a little mushy thinking about our wedding day. Another highlight--M danced with me! It was a very happy weekend.

Here's my horoscope from a few weeks ago, which I hope to keep more firmly in mind:
"Everything is unique," said the 19th-century authors known as the Goncourt brothers, who wrote all their books together. "Nothing happens more than once in a lifetime. Nothing is repeated, and everything is unparalleled." Of course this is always true. Be wide-awake to the novel pleasures that are possible when you appreciate the fact that everything changes all the time.

Weekend at Home

2011-08-30T22:07:00.001-07:00

The Barbecue Bench, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

It was a lovely and productive weekend. We managed to go beyond just maintenance cleaning and take care of some other chores that have been hanging over us for far too long. I can actually see everything that's in my freezer, and I'm pretty sure nothing in there is more than a year old. The dogs smell fresher. We disposed of some items in the garage that should have been settled into the dump or Goodwill cycle many hundreds of days ago. We broke down the last of the half-winebarrels that I had moved "temporarily" near a side fence a couple of years ago, which meant disposing of some redwood seedlings that had taken root and gotten much larger than we'd ever thought. That was hard. They were on their way to becoming lovely trees. We shifted the as-yet unfilled and unplanted livestock troughs into that space, which looks neater, but...in all honesty I feel a bit defeated by that project. I think my gardening eyes are much bigger than my reality stomach can...stomach. The troughs were not cheap, however, so I have a hard time letting them go.

We rewarded our hard work by taking a ride out to Lake Berryessa on Saturday. It was hard to believe that a hurricane was was threatening the East coast, it was so idyllic for us on the Left. Well, it was a tad hot, but skimming past the vineyards and golden hills, it looked a lot like paradise from the back of the Kawasaki. We vastly underestimated the number of choices to have lunch in the area, and ended up consuming overpriced sandwiches created by some interesting characters and watching bad TV at a funky little deli with a fly problem in Spanish Flat. We did go next door to a nice little collectibles shop afterwards and I picked up a cheap vintage tablecloth I'll turn into a new kitchen cafe curtain. Which hopefully will happen sooner than turning watering troughs into garden beds.

We haven't done many projects together lately, so it was high time we tackled something as a couple. For better or for worse, on Sunday afternoon we decided to build an outdoor table that would be a sort of connecting counter between the the two grills, house the hibachi as well as store the various grilling supplies. I think we did pretty well as a team--M put up with my lack of carpentry skills and I put up with his dismissing my many "helpful" suggestions--he is the tool master after all. We pushed through the project a little longer than I suspect with both wanted to in order to get it done, and in the end our marriage remained intact and the barbeque bench came out OK too. It may be oversized and rough (Uncle Lloyd, avert your eyes!), but it's functional. We suspect it will be the place we take shelter in the next earthquake.

*****

Despite the heat during the day, it's feeling like fall already. Walking the dogs last night, the sunset warmed the sky's color, but didn't do much for the air temperature. The geese are on the wing again and I'm already missing summer.

August Activities

2011-08-22T21:49:00.001-07:00

Iron Canyon overlook, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

I continue to consider blogging, then promptly find other tasks to occupy my time. What gives?

Anyway--

Camping was good. Perhaps a little too good. We arrived on Sunday afternoon after much packing angst (luckily the cooler didn't upend on the dogs in the truck bed til the end of our journey), and it was one of the better outdoor experiences to date. Yahoos were at a minimum (one night of loud talking by the excited young adults and a couple of hours of modern country music during the day--really, I can't complain) as were neighboring campers. The motorized boats for the most part took off during the day to ferry fishing folk to the far reaches of the reservoir fingers, leaving us to our own devices. We cooked just enough to have fun but didn't spend too much time on it, sharing courses with Mom and Don. I somehow managed to forget my knitting needles, so couldn't start my tshirt project and was forced to read and nap and play Bananagrams with Mom instead. Don caught fish; M did not. I regretted forgetting our binoculars. I think the toughest part for me was getting a good night's sleep. I didn't find a way to insulate the air mattresses until the very last night, so spent three nights oddly chilled on my underside and overcompensatingly hot on top. The water was pretty darn cold, but there were a few instances of floating far from any shore in the perfect quite of a beautiful day.

Roxy probably had the best time of us all. Thought she got off to a rocky start, mysteriously vomiting for most of the first day, she apparently arose from that episode as a squirrel zombie and when she wasn't panting under the picnic table she was sniffing the underbrush for varmints. She spent most of her last evening ripping apart a fallen log with her jaws, the faint taunting "eep eep" of some creature inside egging her on. On our last morning, she was animatedly digging at one of the boulders lining the boat ramp; when I went over to see what she was so excited about, a chipmunk popped out and made for the blackberry brambles, Roxy in hot pursuit. I backed away at the sounds that I thought indicated an unwilling death. Roxy must have heard M's skepticism as I relayed the hunting tale--she soon passed slowly in front of us, striped quarry limp in her jaws, we assumed she was looking for a safe place to stash it for a later snack.

We ended up coming home a day earlier than planned. We resolved to find a way to bring the boat next time so we could venture out from the campground with the dogs. They were both deeply depressed for several days upon our return. It took several days to notice that Roxy was missing a tooth from her lower jaw, we assume from her log chomping exercises.

M and I kept the vacation feeling going after we got home. We went to out to breakfast, saw a movie matinee ("Cowboys and Aliens," perfectly pleasant if your expectations are low), went to a dinner party with his colleagues, and took the bike up to Clearlake to visit with Jim, Enid, and their friends on Sunday, effectively keeping my Sunday blues at bay. It was really a nice treat to seem them.

Wings over Wine Country air show, which was a lot larger than I expected it to be. We're both sunburned, and I have even more admiration for pilots and their skills.

And I've finally started my knitted tshirt project. Wish me luck.

Back from PDX, on to Iron Canyon

2011-08-07T08:39:00.001-07:00

Camping! We haven't done it in years. We're going to our favorite spot, Iron Canyon, a PG&E reservoir not too far from Burney Falls. It's out of cell phone range and there's no wifi anywhere around. I've somehow spent a lot of time this past week getting ready to rough it which doesn't seem quite right, but our gear hasn't been out of boxes for so long that I didn't want to leave without making sure batteries are still juicy and everything was clean. We spent $150 at Whole Foods yesterday, so you know it's gonna be luxury camping! One thing I bought there was a "bota box" of wine (four bottles contained in one small package--lots of camping advantage there!) and they even had a picture of a tent printed on the box. I didn't make it to the library in time to check out a Dutch oven cookbook, so I'm going to have to do a little Internet based research before we take off this morning. I'm determined to make the pizza fabulous this time. I'm definitely going to use the parchment paper trick we learned with the bread--great way to get it in and out of the hot oven as well as keep it from sticking.

View from the DoubleTree, Portland, OR July 2011, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

One of the things I'm most looking forward to on this vacation is not making any decisions or organizing anyone or any activities other than my own. It's been a long and mostly very stressful couple of weeks at work. The convention in Portland went well overall, but there were some difficult aspects, though many of them were related to it being very successful. I had a lot of parties to go to and nice to make and chats to have, which is always rewarding but exhausting for me.

As always, the highlight of my travel is the extracurricular stuff. During the conference, I got away one evening for a very fine dinner at Ned Ludd, a place that operates on one wood fired oven, and then another evening I borrowed a bike from the hotel and rode around the neighborhood. I stopped for a pint at Apex, a very bike-friendly bar. I really appreciate how cycle-centric PDX is--made me want to bike more at home, though Sonoma County is not really set up to accommodate biking the way Portland is. On the last day of our conference, the Sock Summit was getting underway in the other part of the convention center, so I stopped by their expo floor. The amount of booths selling yarn was a bit overwhelming. I did buy a couple of skeins and also took a few moments to work the world's largest sock. I didn't stay for it, but they planned a flash mob as part of their event, which I totally want to steal for our show next year. If the knitters can do it, surely the tech geeks can too.

After the conference, I spent the rest of my time in Portland with Uncle Lloyd and Aunt Jacque, which was great. Cousin Heather came down from Washington for the whole weekend, and we had fun exploring wine country on Saturday. Cousins Michelle with her whole family and Jim came over for dinner and visiting that night. I'm really grateful that they all made the time to see me! Lloyd and Jacque continue to set a high bar for hosting standards. They always make me so comfortable and welcome, and helps me decompress from the event.

One fun thing: I wore a very convincing temporary tattoo for a couple of weeks. The reactions were pretty funny. Many people I knew were surprised and relatively supportive, though comments came almost exclusively from men. I will say, if I ever wanted to pick up on young guys, getting a tattoo is definitely a great way to start a conversation.

OK, we're already running late--time to load up the gear and get off the grid!

Time, Away

2011-07-18T20:56:00.001-07:00

So you'd think that during a vacation I'd post a little, but no--apparently my vacation was also from blogging.

I've had mostly a very nice time these last few weeks--see for yourself:

We spent the 4th of July weekend in Manchester with Mom, Don, and the very happy dogs. We walked on the beach. We ate very well.

Murray's racks, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

Mom, Don, and I went to a fine party at a home on the bluff overlooking the cove where the fireworks happened. It was a perfect evening--almost warm, not much of a breeze, absolutely clear.

We experienced the new casino in Point Arena. (We won't need to experience it again.)

I've apparently been by the possessed by ruffle spirits and it took the knitting of two scarves before I was able to exorcise those demons. Hopefully they will return again.

I took the whole July 4th week off and had grand plans to spend a goodly amount of time working in the backyard. I even had some notions of finally installing the livestock water troughs-turned planters, but I just didn't get it together. However, my craft room is back to its useful self--projects had been piling up projects and they've mostly been sorted out. I think that's contributed to some of my creative resurgence.

M and I took a ride out to West County last weekend to visit the Moveable Type truck. Now we both want to become letterpress artisans.

We've been baking bread.

On Thursday I went to a "ladies night" party after work at a motorcycle shop and not only purchased a new jacket (with armor, fyi), I won a bunch of great stuff in the raffle. OK, I may not ever don the fake bandana, but most of it is quite useful.

On Friday, we drove up to Manchester for a weekend rendezvous with the Manhattan Madhus, and my brothers from the interior. More food, beverages, walks, and conversations were had by all. Mostly, sleep was not, but there will be time for that later.

I left Manchester much earlier than I wanted to on Sunday to rendezvous with the Point Arena gals in Calistoga. We had soaks in the various hot tubs, lots of chatting and catching up, and I gave Liz her 50th birthday present, one of the ruffly scarves and a necklace strung from buttons collected by family women over the years that I had started over the 4th of July weekend.

Since M and I are both off to opposite ends of the coast next weekend, we left the dogs with their grandparents for some bonding and fun this week. I miss them very much already, though I know they're getting lots of attention, food, and exercise.

Sorry it took so long. Cousin Kam, thanks for the encouragement and thanks to Cousin Michelle for the photo-style blog post inspiration!

Just Another Work Day

2011-07-01T09:29:00.001-07:00

WEB 2.0 SUMMIT PREMIERE RECEPTION 2011, a photo by aquababe on Flickr.

It was a long day that ended with a reception in the City for one of our conferences coming up this fall, but certainly there are worse professional duties! Jackie is one of my favorite people I work with.

Happy Anniversary

2011-06-25T16:08:00.000-07:00

Though we're spending the day apart. M is at a one-day "start your own business" class, so I'm recovering from a minor hangover with just the dogs and birds and sunshine, which is lovely. There was about an hour of peace interrupted when the neighbor kids started blasting their crappy popular music, so I retaliated with our local roots/rock radio station on high volume out on the deck--power guitar beats electronic every time! Damn I'm getting crotchety! Or would that be more crotchety? Since it's our anniversary, we may go out to dinner tonight, but depending on how I feel later, it may be better to go tomorrow night. And who knows how M will feel after six hours in a classroom. (We are both very excited about him officially "hanging out his shingle" next week!)

I have a bit of a headache because we were out last night at the local Bar Association social event. M was called by a friend with two tickets that he couldn't use, so we got in for free. The food was better this year and the announcements reduced to about 5 minutes, so that was a mercy. We knew a few people, and I successfully made small talk with some new folks.

Lately, I've been inspired by a line in The Big C (which I'm not enjoying as much as I'd hoped, unfortunately), where the main character's brother tells her something about how she's lost her creativity and needs to "get her weird on" again. So in the spirit of getting my weird on last night, I decided not to put up with seeing an empty dance floor surrounded by swaying, hopeful looking women and their don't-make-me-do-it dates and got the dancing started by asking one of the volunteer staffers (a woman) to step out on the floor with me. I also cut the parquet with another older lady--I could tell she wanted to dance and just needed a little help. It was fun. The band was quite good, so that made it easy. I don't think M was embarrassed by my moves (I let him use the knee pain excuse for not dancing with me), but if he was, oh well. My goal was to have my photo in the next Bar Association newsletter, so wish me luck. We also have a shot at a published shot because M's nametag had a sponsor ribbon, thanks to the firm where the friend works being a sponsor, and the photographer had us pose for a few snaps.

*****

Not sure if it's the wedding anniversary, or the many milestone birthdays this year, or work changes, or what, but I've been thinking a lot lately about how I visualized my life at this age thirty years ago. It really hit me one morning a couple of weeks ago--I was getting ready to put my bags in the car to go the conference in Santa Clara, and paused to adjust M's tie since he had a court appearance that morning. There we were, a couple of middle aged DINKs with real careers and dogs and a mortgage and several vehicles and a yard and grill…was this what I always dreamed of? Truly, in my heart of hearts?

Yes--the answer is yes. I think I had cats in mind rather than dogs, and that I would do more embroidery rather than knitting as my craft of choice. Well, perhaps "home" would have been in a more exotic location. And there's that husband thing--for all of my teen years, I expected to be spending the rest of my life with my then-boyfriend whom I married at 20. But that momentous change was the right one, and while life isn't perfect now (and won't ever be), the changes I'd like to make in my life now are quite small. I want another few hundred square feet of house, sure, another cat at some point, and to activate more weird creativity, but other than that…Wait, and that diamond ring. But then--complete! Anyway, it's always good to have goals, right?

*****

In other catching-up news, we went to watch motorcycle flat-track racing last weekend.

Here's the traditional view from the hotel, from the last show in Santa Clara:

I did lose my cell phone during the conference, so earlier this week I got a very feature-filled Android phone (we have an Android conference coming up, so I figured I'd better see what the fuss is about). Apparently it's going to take weeks before I've got it set up the way I want it. Also, I think the footage of my speaking adventure will be posted soon. I'm sure I'll squirm when I watch it, but maybe it will help, too.

Oh, and I joined a book club! One of M's law school friends, whom I don't know very well, invited me. I probably won't be able to go every month given my travel, and I'm such a slow reader, but she said it's mostly an excuse to get together with other gals and drink wine (she has an excellent palate), so I'm doing it. Gotta try new things. Better get to readin' so I can finish "My Life in France" and move on to the club's pick, Anna Quindlen's Every Last One so I can contribute to the discussion a little next Wednesday.

On Stage!

2011-06-15T08:59:00.001-07:00

Ignite Speakers, a photo by O'Reilly Conferences on Flickr.

One of my personal goals for the year has been to do more public speaking and despite my best efforts to procrastinate on that, it's been happening. Yesterday afternoon I was asked to be a part of Ignite, which is a fun style of presenting, generally where you get 20 slides that each automatically advance after 20 seconds. The host for this conference's Ignite incorporated a slot where ten volunteers improvised commentary on five slides each (sometimes known as PowerPoint Karaoke) and I was one of those volunteers. I was desperately hoping that more than ten other people would volunteer and I would be off the hook, but it was not to be. And I'm glad! It was fun and I got through it and hopefully that will help my confidence for next time. Who knows, maybe I could actually plan some sort of speaking engagement. I was also one of two women speakers during the event, and I was glad to represent the ladies.

Pinar, our fab conference photographer, took this shot of me--professional shooters, another advantage to speaking at conferences!

Pleasant Weekend

2011-06-05T21:20:00.001-07:00

The prelude was a return to the long-neglected gym for a Zumba class. Four people seemed so happy to see me and encouraging about returning again soon that I may have to actually do it again tomorrow morning.

It was well worth the drive through the unnerving and freakish June deluge to spend the day in the City with family having fun. Stepsister Kirsie was in town from Missouri with husband and daughter; we met up with them and Mom and Don for a few hours fooling around with science in the Exploratorium thence to dinner and ice cream.

Today M and I visited a friend of his in our local open studios tour. He's a metal artist and we're thinking of having him design and fabricate a gate for us. Then I headed down to Petaluma for an afternoon of gabbing with the gal gang.

I also finished another Sookie Stackhouse installment. On to the final tome, or Julia Child's "My Life in France" next?

Memorial Day Weekend

2011-05-30T10:18:00.001-07:00

View from the Legion of Honor, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

It’s been quite good so far.

I took Friday off to see an exhibit at the Legion of Honor, Pulp Fashion, which I’d been wanting to see for a while. I enjoyed it, but I’m not sure I’d call it art. While I was there, I also saw the Magna Carta, a large, lovely mosaic from an ancient Roman home, and illustrated books from Japan. I loved the contrast in calligraphy between the stiff, horizontal English and the sinuous, vertical Japanese, which on the page looked almost like the dark path rain leaves on a window.

I’d been planning this excursion for weeks and wondering if I should go alone or call up a girlfriend for company. In yet another example of how procrastination pays (usually) for me, while dithering about an outing companion, an exchange with an old acquaintance about updating our email addresses turned into lunch at the museum. It’s a little hard to describe our relationship. I’ve known her family all of my life--I call her older brother my first friend, her sister and I were pretty close in high school, and her parents founded the commune where I spent part of my youth. But she’s much younger than me, and I’ve never known her as an adult. She mentioned to me she also wasn’t sure how to label our relationship, but told a friend she was having lunch with her babysitter, which I thought was pretty funny. That is one career I’ve never associated myself with, at any age.

Through the magic of Facebook we’ve connect again and I’ve been interested in her serious urban garden projects, including Hayes Valley Farm. We had a pleasant time wandering the exhibit then catching up on more personal stuff over lunch. She mentioned how a few years ago she had gone back to the commune, now an apple farm and commercial garden, as an intern to learn more about gardening and how it had been an eye-open process in many ways. She said people treated her pretty badly when she was just the anonymous person who scrubbed their toilets, but when they found out she was one of the original “commune kids,” their attitude completely changed. And she said she had a much greater appreciation for what her parents accomplished with starting the commune, being part of an “intentional community” and living in a tent infested with rain and woodrats as an adult.

My friend was a little late, so thankfully I had time for a latte when I arrived. The museum café wasn’t crowded at all at that hour, and I notice a few people who seemed more like regulars, chatting with the bus staff, reading the newspaper. I wondered what it would be like to live nearby and have a museum be my local coffeeshop. I could pick one work of art every time I came to spend time with and really appreciate. Ah, city life.

After the museum I detoured on the way home to our local “premium” outlet mall and spent more money on new clothing than I have in a while. (Yesterday I had to clean out my closet and drawers of togs I just haven’t donned in a while to fit them all in.) My last stop at the kitchen supply store was a bit of a buzzkill—after checking my driver’s license to verify my credit card ID, the barely-of-age cashier observed, “Wow, your hair was much better back then!” Tell me something I don’t know, sister.

Saturday was too rainy and gloomy to execute our outdoor chores, so M and I took turns choosing activities to fill our day. We took the motorcycle out, but had to turn back as the rain came. We went to lunch at a burger joint that got my order wrong not once but twice, then to an open house (it was actually almost too big! Didn’t think I had an upper limit), then Borders (is it wrong to read a Sookie Stackhouse paperback gently with the idea that I’ll be able to return it?), then to a car dealership (M had a car in mind he wanted me to test drive; I didn’t like the looks of it, but I did receive a bottle of homebrew beer from one of his former colleagues—bonus!), then to a coffeeshop.

Yesterday was gorgeous, a true summer day, but we frittered it away on yardwork and chores and reading on the back deck, listening to the quail calls. M forgot to put his rib on the grill early enough for dinner so of course we were forced to go out for Vietnamese for dinner.

And what will today be? The sky still hasn’t decided between a blue or gray ensemble. Maybe we’ll be able to take the bike out today. I think foraging for French fries in quaint little towns would be a fine ongoing quest.

*****

The work week was an interesting one: a woman I’ve worked with for many years is retiring, so we threw her a little fete on Thursday. I’ve known she’s been planning to retire for months, but it’s still a bit hard for me to absorb. We’ve traveled together a lot over the years and she’s probably the only person I can laugh and commiserate with about some of the foibles of our office, so I’m really going to miss that outlet. Her road to retirement was a bit rocky. The economic troubles and drop in the real estate market didn’t help at all. Observing the politics and process around her departure has been a good learning experience for me. She and her husband spent several years building their dream home in Idaho and that too has provided good nuggets of info for me to squirrel away. One thing she shared recently that I’d like to try: they bought a painting of a river in Idaho and hung it in their living room as a reminder of what they were working towards. So…what’s the inspirational image for M and me? Gotta work on that.

Relatedly, on the flight home from Baltimore, I sat next to a young man who became quite talkative as our plane circled Denver yet again. He was an interesting combination of ego and charm—a pre-med student at Johns Hopkins thinking of volunteering for Medecins sans Frontiers based on a recent semester abroad spent in Tibet where at one point he watched monks feeding a body to the birds and dogs, a traditional funeral rite. He apparently gave up a promising career in acting (“You know, I won a bunch of awards and stuff.”) to dedicate himself to helping the world. At one point he asked what my greatest adventure was, and I wasn’t able to come up with anything that came anywhere near the Tibetan funeral. And then he asked, “So what’s next for you?” I told him that I was nearer to retirement than any kind of career change (he approximated a satisfactory amount of surprise—those acting classes were definitely worth it!), but I admit for all his whippersnapperiness, he got me thinking about my next decade. The Big Birthday looms, as do the attendant questions. Am I where I want to be? Doing what is worthwhile or am I frittering too much? And back to my friend’s river painting, what the hell does it all look like? Lately I’ve also been focused on putting things in place to be able to buy a new house, but would a home sustain me and comfort me? Maybe I should be thinking along more spiritual and mental lines for satisfaction rather than the physical.

*****

Chico Recap: It was a lovely weekend. The weather was blissfully unoppressive, the graduation ceremony not too endless, the food was good, the dorms not too icky though coffee making and the lack of toilet paper was challenging, and the capacity of the young folks for lack of sleep and imbibement of beer impressive (and the stout brewed by her engineer neighbors delightful). The best part was having so many family members together. We so rarely gather together. We hung out at Felicia’s apartment Friday night and Saturday, and at Mark and Glo’s place Sunday morning. M and I had a bit of “us” time too. We had dinner at the brewery Saturday night, then wandered downtown for ice cream after returning and impressed the beer-pong-playing kids by pulling up in a pedi-cab.

We left the dogs in the care of a housesitter for the first time ever, a friend of M’s from work, and it turned out fine! Rex slept with her both nights. I missed them very much, but it was reassuring to know they had someone with them that didn’t involve a trip/transfer up to “grandma’s” house. It wasn’t cheap, but a dog-free getaway definitely something we’ll do again this summer.

*****

In other ephemera, I just finished City of Thieves and highly recommend it.

Scenes from a Graduation

2011-05-23T20:47:00.001-07:00

With Felicia, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

It was a quick weekend, but we had a great time. Nothing like a ceremony to bring people together.

Off to Chico

2011-05-20T09:03:00.001-07:00

USS Constellation, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

I’ve put some pictures up of my Baltimore visit on Flickr. The conference went very well. I had two pleasant meals out with work friends, one after a successful foray for Old Bay to bring back to M. (He had some on his grilled chicken last night and pronounced it good.) On the last day, I got up early enough to walk part of a 5K race that was planned as part of the conference. What fun! I wish I could have done the whole thing, but duty called.

Dear niece Felicia is walking in the Chico State graduation ceremony bright and early tomorrow morning. I’ve taken the day off so we can drive over and spend some time with family this evening as well as the weekend. She finagled space for us in one of the residence halls—old people partying in the dorms! While I think we’ll have twin beds, it may not be quite the urban camping experience I was anticipating. The website says the rooms come equipped with a microwave and a fridge. I’m still bringing a cooler and coffee maker—best to be prepared! I’m sure it will be a madhouse scene in Chico all weekend, which could be fun, annoying, or perhaps a little of both. The residence is a few blocks away from the campus and downtown, so that’s good, but still within walking distance of commencement and her apartment where we’ll be celebrating tonight. It’s going to be great having some time with parents, brothers, and extended family. I’m hoping there will be some space for all the family to hang out together comfortably. Maybe the dorm pool will be open! I’m bringing a bathing suit just in case. I’m sure M and I will make time to walk by the Stansbury Home—we’re just a few weeks away from our sixth anniversary.

The Wilbur Library quilt raffle drawing is tomorrow—think good thoughts for me winning!

In Bal'mer, Hon

2011-05-15T15:20:00.001-07:00

View from the Hyatt, Baltimore MD, May 2011, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

A couple of colleagues and I arrived late last night in the pouring rain after a long-ish but uneventful flight. It's been dry if not exactly clear today--a bit warm and muggy. I was able to stretch my legs a bit getting breakfast at Miss Shirley's before heading to work at the convention center and again at lunch with some of the gang.

We're right on the Inner Harbor, a clean, pleasant, touristy area. A great deal of brick has been laid here. I'm not so much interested in the Hard Rock Café (though the giant neon guitar perched against the smokestacks of the renovated power plant looks pretty cool) but the USS Constellation is here. I'm sorry I won't have the time to tread her decks; her rigging rising above the water is thrilling.

A group of us are going out to dinner tonight celebrating the Tauruses (Tauri?) among us. A thunderstorm has arrived and it's just started raining again. Wish us luck getting cabs!

Overnight in SF

2011-05-12T12:00:00.000-07:00

View from Hotel Adagio, SF, May 2011, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

I came down to the City yesterday to check out a conference that Google puts on.The presentations were way over my head technically, but the trappings were pretty amazing. It would be fun to have a huge event budget to spend at will.

I met Katch and Odessa at her office at the library. Fun being "backstage." We got to see the book sorting machine! We had a pleasant dinner at Dosa. It was great seeing them. Odessa has become quite the lovely young lady, sigh. After dinner we walked along Valencia Street, eating delicious ice cream and window shopping.

I'm in an all-day meeting here today, too, heading home tonight. (To get ready to head to Baltimore on Saturday, hon.)

Mothers Day--Happy!

2011-05-08T16:08:00.001-07:00

I actually spent a few hours with Mom today. She came down on Friday, mostly to start shopping for paint, carpet, and furniture for the long overdue TV room remodel. It was fun helping her with that--we spent time visiting furniture stores on Saturday with a brief stop at Home Depot for a fistful of paint chips.

After lunch, we took a break from shopping and went to the junior college to see "Jesus Christ Superstar." Very good production values and a decent cast--Jesus is a much more demanding singing role than I had remembered from when my ex was one of the apostles back in my JC (junior college) days. It was a fun activity. I really like supporting our local thespians. "Company" and "Hairspray" are coming up. "Company" is on my Netflix list, but maybe I'll take it off in anticipation of seeing it live, though it might be fun to compare productions.

Busy week at work last week, but I'm starting to feel a little more settled in my new space. I had been asked to give a presentation on what goes into putting on a conference a few weeks ago, and that finally happened on Wednesday. I had spent quite a bit of time on my slides and I think it turned out well. Everyone was very supportive, so I didn't feel too nervous. I certainly have a greater appreciation for what speakers go through to put a good talk together, that's for sure. I subjected M to a rehearsal and he commented that he was glad he didn't have my job.

The change in my gym classes had been a little uninspiring, and that combined with so much travel lately has meant I haven't exercised much. A friend at work mentioned that she takes her dogs for a walk first thing in the morning, and I actually did that on Friday, semi-jogging during part of our wander in the field. It was nice being out early and the dogs were ecstatic of course. I did a few sit-ups when I got home just for good measure. I'm thinking I'll try this more often--I can get more sleep and vary the exercise routine, both things I need to do more of.

More travel is coming up, too. I have an overnight in San Francisco this week. I'll be going to a Google conference on Wednesday--apparently they throw a lavish show, so I'm excited to be going. On Thursday I have an all-day meeting in the City, so it will work out well to stay the night. And then I'm heading to Baltimore for a conference next weekend. I didn't think I'd be going, but plans have changed. I need to plan our camping trip or something with travel that not about work!

Catching Up. Again.

2011-05-02T21:48:00.000-07:00

Back on Easter Sunday I was going to post a really thoughtful entry about how I was hanging at the Spokane Airport Ramada, procrastinating on work assignments, "Wizard of Oz" playing on the tube to my left while planes ascended and landed across the expanse of two parking lots at right. But that was a whole week ago and then some. Work guilt and a bit of laptop fatigue conspired to rob me of my blog mojo then, and that lack has lasted longer than I'd thought. So it goes.

So, starting with the important stuff: It was a particularly nice visit with Grandma, and just a little longer than usual due to a stopover on the way home in Portland which was a fine combination of work and fun with family.

Apparently I arrived in Wilbur just after a snow shower, but you wouldn't know it--the weather was beautiful! I walked up and back from Vista Manor several times, which I really needed after a couple of weeks cooped up in a convention center. Grandma seemed in good form and as usual we enjoyed catching up and looking through albums. She always seems to have new family history to talk over. I was distressed that Missy, a new canine resident, didn't take to me right off--it's been a long time since I've been barked at so vigorously--but there it is.*

It was an epic culinary visit as well. Tipped off by a flyer in the Willows Inn office, I partook of a delightful Indian meal on Saturday evening in the school's multipurpose room in support of the local Girl Scouts' trip to Washington DC, sitting with a slightly older couple and trying to be on my most entertaining chat behavior. I think the Singh family, who were overseeing the meal preparation, were relieved to have one other vegetarian in their midst. On Easter Sunday, I had my first luncheon with Grandma and the other residents of Vista Manor. It was lovely and tasty, and just so wonderful to be sharing a meal with Grandma. And then of course there was my semi-annual consumption of a plain cake doughnut from Sandy's, which tasted particularly fresh and tender this trip. Thank FSM the store is hundreds of miles away!

I tried to support the local economy as much as possible, picking up a few supplies at the Family grocery in Davenport, tshirts at the Billy Burger, quilt raffle tickets for the library fundraiser ("Ribbons and Stars" pattern with heart quilting stitch--I hope I win!), and a little coin purse at Lynne's.

Early Monday morning I flew to Portland for a visit to the convention center to prepare for our show there in July. This worked perfectly for a visit with Uncle Lloyd and Aunt Jacque! We had a lovely visit and cousin Michelle came over to join us for dinner at yet another local brewery. More connecting and catching up with family gladdened my heart, and Uncle Lloyd's many wood and craft projects are very inspiring.

*****

After the epic read that was "A Suitable Boy," I picked up All We Ever Wanted Was Everything and devoured it in just a week or so. It was written in present tense and from three alternating points of view, which really made me think hard about the kind of novel I want to write, and sooner rather than later. Well, it's easy to think NaNoWriMo when we're months away. And by we I mean me.

*****

It's been nice being home for the whole weekend and getting a chance to settle into my new work space. M and I were very productive over the weekend (in fact, only "Blog" was left undone on the To Do list). We also had fun--a motorcycle ride out to the coast and another attempt at pizza on the grill, which we have yet to perfect, although it was better than last time. We also did a little brainstorming about him hanging out his shingle and starting on his sole proprietorship for real. That was exciting. It feels like a very different lifestyle for us, but it's something we've also talked about since he started law school, so familiar in a way too.

I left work right at 5:00 pm today to race over to my local yarn shop to take a beginning crochet class. I've always wanted to learn the basics, to add a little something extra to my knitted projects, and this was just a two hour intro class--perfect! I was a little late and just one of two students in the class, which was great for individual attention. Imagine my surprise when I found out the woman my age was the other student and the very young gal--who turned out to be a sophomore in high school and working on a lacy piece for her prom dress while we practiced our half double crochets--the teacher. Of course she picked up knitting while in a Waldorf school.

The scene reminded me a little of a sight in the Spokane airport: a mom playing solitaire on her smartphone while her tweener daughter read a hardcover novel from the library.

It felt so good to focus on getting the hook moving in the yarn--the hour and a half flew by and my little brain was soothed just trying to get the hang of the loops and tension. I have a long way to go before I can crochet up anything of note, but I liked doing something brand new.

*****

*M has given me some good advice: "It's not always about you," he's reminded me lately when I've whined about perceived slights or some such triviality. And by you I mean me of course. I think that should be my new mantra. Alternating with my friend Cathleen's advice to "Think Ducati" (essentially, do what you think is right for your own empowerment--and by you I mean me; OK, and you too) and my recent fortune cookie fortune: "Use your abilities at this time to stay focused on your goal. You will succeed."

Au revoir encore, Santa Clara

2011-04-20T21:14:00.001-07:00

View from the Hyatt Regency, Santa Clara, CA April 2011, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

Trying to keep up with the more frequent blogging, but obviously having trouble with all the travel. I've been in Santa Clara since Monday (conference is going very well btw!), and will be home briefly before taking off to see Grandma on Friday morning. Extra family fun: mother in law Arienne is visiting with M now, so it will be nice to see her when I get home tomorrow afternoon. OK, pardon me while I continue packing...

Ciao Santa Clara

2011-04-14T09:14:00.001-07:00

View from the Hyatt, Santa Clara, CA April 2011, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

It was a quick three days, thank goodness. M seems to be doing just fine without me, but still it's weighed on me to be away from him right after the surgery. Two pleasant things about this visit: I had take-out South Indian food for dinner last night, which always makes me happy. And, I organized two "meet ups" of women attending the conference. Of the hundreds of people who attend this event, we got most of them, about 25, together. They seemed to enjoy the networking, and I get to feel like I've helped make them feel more welcome, which may help correct the gender imbalance at our conferences in the hopefully not too distant future.

Screws, Removed

2011-04-11T20:12:00.001-07:00

Screws, Removed, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

M's home and has his knee up, engrossed in "Scrubs"; the ice water machine is doing its circulation thing; Roxy is pressed up against it, snoring, I'm guessing for comfort. The surgeon said the screw removal went well. (The photo is of his good knee, just for comparison--I don't think the incised knee will see the light of day for some time.) I have to finish packing--I'm off to a conference tomorrow and I really don't want to leave him for a few days, though he's already hobbling around. But I'm glad I was here to at least get him home and settled.

Relief of Suspense!

2011-04-07T21:47:00.000-07:00

The last few months have been one of the busiest times of my professional life that I can recall. I just got back from a show last week, and I have two more in the next two weeks. I’m doing annual performance evaluations with my team this week. We just found out that two fall conferences we thought were off the schedule are going to happen after all and so of course we’re already late on preparing for them. And to top it all off, I’m still sick and of course but M’s having surgery on Monday, which doesn’t really impact my workload, just the whole stressful situation. Oh, and I broke a contact lens, so I’ve been wearing my glasses for the last few days and my perspective just feels…off. Particularly with a stuffy head.

But a much bigger change was revealed this week—my company is undergoing a reorg! In a good way, at least it seems so now. We’re positioning for growth, so many departments are realigning, including mine. At this point, I still have most of my team intact. As of today I have a new boss, someone I’ve worked with since I started 11 years ago, just never *for* him. I’ll be moving to another part of our office—this weekend, gulp, but because of my upcoming travel I won’t be in my new space for a couple of weeks. I won’t have an office anymore, just a desk in a big room full of other desks (not cubicles—thank FSM for that!), which I’m not happy about. But other than that, I’m pretty excited about the change. The way the company is being reorganized means that I could be doing some fun new things. One especially nice detail is that I’ll be working more closely with some people I used to when I first started and have missed.

Still--the uncertainty of how it’s all going to shake out (there’s another organizational phase coming and I may get another boss in a few months. Or, let’s face it, I may meet another employment fate) and trying to not let anything essential slip off my list of things I have to do to prepare for the two looming conferences is keeping me from really processing (is that the right shrink-y term?) this change very well. I’ve been packing up my stuff, too—going through decade-old files that have brought back some interesting memories that I don’t really have time to dwell on. Maybe that’s a good thing. I’m going to throw most of it away. If it’s not of any use to me, I don’t think the 48 inches of paper will benefit anyone else.

M was so good to me tonight—it was a very long day for me today after a series of long days and I came home to a lovely three course spaghetti feast. That soothed my fevered brow substantially.

On another bright and stress-reducing side, I do have a nice if brief visit with family in Washington and Oregon to look forward to in a couple of weeks. Just need to get through this little two week tunnel of time, and then I can breathe.

OK, time for bed. I suspect I have another long and eventful day ahead of me tomorrow.

Still Sick

2011-04-05T19:22:00.000-07:00

And now M has it too. He’s hoping (as am I) that it doesn’t interfere with the surgery scheduled for Monday. He has a pre-surgery meeting with his doc later this week. But, better to be safe than sorry. He stayed home from work today to try to kick it.

*****

Sunday Adventure: M and I took off in the morning on the motorcycle to enjoy the beautiful weather and countryside. We rode out to the Timber Cove Inn for lunch, but as we were making to leave, the bike kept dying. Luckily Mom had nothing better to do and her neighbor had no plans for her truck, so she rescued us, driving us all the way back to Santa Rosa. It ended up being a nice unexpected visit. Mom stayed the night, M grilled, and we had a lovely time.

*****

M and I got into an interesting discussion last night: If you had to lose and eye, a hand, or a foot, which would you choose? M was firmly in the eye camp. I couldn’t decide. They all sound pretty dreadful to me.

*****

Dog update: Although all had been quiet on the canine front for months, Rex and Roxy got into it last night. I think they were both excited and hungry and eager for their walk. We thought Rex had gotten used to her constant badgering for attention, but apparently not—they were just outside the front door after I got home last night, clamoring for a walk, and suddenly I heard the dog sounds change to conflict. Luckily there was a towel near the front door, so I grabbed it and ran outside to flail it on Roxy. She stopped and let Rex up almost immediately. He ran off; later he seemed to be cowed, but not bleeding. I scolded Roxy for quite some time. It may not actually be her fault, but she’s so much bigger than he is…not sure if we’ll ever be able to train her that she can’t attack him, no matter how much of a jerk he is to her. One thing I did notice. When I scold Rex, he rolls over and shows his belly to me quickly. Roxy didn’t. She looked chastised, but not really subservient. And there it is, I think—Rex won’t back down, and neither will she. At least, not at this point. Maybe we’re not establishing ourselves as the pack leaders adequately. We took them on separate walks last night, and things seem to be OK today. I think it was a good thing M was home. It felt like a big setback in the getting-along department.

***

And just to leave you in suspense (and to provide me with a compelling reason to blog again this week): It was a very big day at work today. Check back for a full report on Thursday.

Pointy Pal Reunion

2011-04-02T15:02:00.001-07:00

View from the Intercontinental, San Francisco, March 2011, a photo by suzipaw on Flickr.

After a long, busy, but productive week at a conference in San Francisco, I'm at the Applebox with writer pals Julia and Rebecca. It's been months since we've gotten together, so of course we didn't pull out our laptops to start writing for a few hours--we've been busy catching up. We did discuss some writing goals for the rest of the year. I committed to six poems (two down! and another one started!) and blogging three times a week, twice publicly and once just for myself. We'll see how that goes. When I was in San Antonio, Dad very kindly asked me how my novel was coming along and so I've been thinking a lot since then about it. I admit to not feeling very motivated to do long fiction. Maybe I just don't have a compelling story in me right now. The characters don't haunt me like I hear they're supposed to. Except for the house--the house I envisioned for the characters to remodel and thereby fall in love--that is still with me, for some reason. Maybe it's because I still feel a little restless with the house I currently inhabit.

It felt like the seasons changed while I was gone. I took most of the day off yesterday and cleaned up the backyard a little, loving the feel of sunshine and sight of blue sky. The peach trees are still blooming; tulips and daffodils I planted in pots are unfolding. It was quite warm, a preview of summer. I actually donned shorts and sat on the back deck for a while, til the neighbor's crappy music and other neighbor's lawnmower drove me back indoors. I like the air but not the noise open windows let in. I guess I could've blasted NPR in return, but all I really wanted was to listen to the birds (hawk, hummingbird, mockingbird, punctuated by woodpecker) and the sound of browned oak leaves crashing their way through the new green ones to the overgrown green grass below. The yards are still very wet, but M is supposed to mow today, so it may look very different when I get home. And smell heavenly.

I unfortunately caught something while I was away and a sore throat is setting in. Maybe just a hint that I need to take it easy this weekend.

P.S. I've sent a message to the Flickr people asking them if they have any idea why my photos are displaying so hugely. I hope they reply soon.

Storm Poem

2011-03-26T12:45:00.001-07:00

It's not much, but better than nothing:

Storm upsets the cedar
dark branches frantic
but down the street the palm
dances, waving jazz hands

I've been walking around with the palm fronds as jazz hand image for a while. It's good to get it out there.

Other random things:

As you may have guessed, it's been raining. A lot, way more than usual. It's good, I know, but I'm ready for a break. It's been especially good for the settling peach trees, I'm sure. As you can see from the photo, they're not dead! They have shifted a bit, so don't seem quite straight--M and I will try to stake them differently, once the weather lets up. I think we lost the vines, however. It's possible that I've been successful in rooting shoots from the Mr. Lincoln rootstock, so we might have roses to replace them with in the fall--that rootstock is very vigorous and when I haven't had the heart to cut them back right away, it's produced sprays of lovely small red blooms.

I leave for a show in San Francisco tomorrow morning, returning on Thursday. I'll also be doing a lot of traveling the last two weeks of April: twice to Santa Clara for conferences, plus Wilbur, Portland, and maybe a trip up to Manchester if Kamala comes. M's mom is also coming for a quick visit during that time. I'm looking forward to most of the travel, but I'll be happy exactly a month from now when I'll get to be home for a bit, hopefully in drier weather. Oh, and M's having the screws removed from a previous knee surgery on April 11. This is in preparation for a total replacement in a year or two. So much going on.

There are other things too. Part of my life is conspiring to keep a low level of anger simmering constantly, and I'm just going to have deal with it for a while longer. On the bright side, I'm letting off its steam in indirect ways that could be construed as constructive. I was not just a silent unhappy customer in Best Buy last weekend, I actually expressed myself, something I rarely do--though it didn't get me anywhere. And in Zumba class on Monday, rather than stewing yet again about the person who ignores the posted sign and interrupts our cool-down by coming into class and moving out equipment for another class she's leading--and not just a couple of things, but a stationary bike, bozu balls, etc.--I actually asked her (nicely) to please stop and she sort of did.

Stewing, simmering--I must be hungry. M is making me a pancake, so must ring off. (Did I mention he picked up a crockpot at the thrift store a couple of weeks ago and we're exploring the culinary world of slow cooking? Tonight we'll try scalloped potatoes.)

Hello from ATX

2011-03-13T19:06:00.001-07:00

It's evening after the time change and I'm sitting in a little studio apartment in Austin. An austere apartment. There's no mirror (I'm not too too vain but I do have to present myself professionally while I'm here...), no TV, no comfortable place to sit. My bed is a hard single mattress up a ladder--I was very awake when I made that trek to the toilet last night!--with no lightswitch within reach. But it's my own quiet space for now and I hear the clink of the Magnolia Cafe waitresses taking the trash out and smell something delightful wafting from that kitchen, thinking fondly of the vintage shopping I did on South Congress Street this afternoon. A distant bell is tolling eight o'clock (update: nine bells) as the traffic moves to and from the capitol building and Town Lake--including the roar of motorcycles driven by their helmetless riders. Ah, danger and the feeling of freedom. Like New York, shorts worn with tights are a la mode here, coexisting with strappy sun dresses paired with slant-heel cowboy boots. Culinary rage: savory items like shrimp and bacon served in ice cream cones. Sans ice cream. Imagine my despair at approaching the shiny Mighty Cone Airstream trailer on my way "home" from the convention center hoping for a cooling gourmet indulgence and being met with choices only of the flesh. Well, there it is. And food trucks--herds of them gathering in parking lots around town.

I'm here for SXSW and I confess it's defeated me today. I haven't slept well for the past few days which has taken its toll. I schmooze well only in the best of circumstances and I managed adequately the last couple of days, but after a work brunch this morning (which actually was quite lovely, chatty, *and* delicious) I sagged during the afternoon keynote addresses and hied me here. It's monumentally crowded at the conference and there are lines for everything--getting coffee, filing into session rooms, attending parties, even just crossing certain streets. Conversations were easy the first few days, but now I think people see that I'm tired and that I'm not a VC looking to unload capital into their app/film/project/band and look away when I try to catch their eye. I'm hoping that a restorative night's sleep will turn that around tomorrow and I'll have a few productive hours at the show tomorrow before winging my way back to home, husband, and hounds in the afternoon.

I have really enjoyed getting to know TX better, particularly in the non-humid season. I arrived Tuesday afternoon and had a great couple of days with Dad and Ginny. We hung out, did some fabulous thrift store shopping (I have never heard the clacking of clothes hangers quite so forcefully than at 25-cent day at Family Thrift!), ate well, watched TV, and walked the San Antonio Botanical Garden.

They very kindly dropped me at my first digs in Austin on Thursday afternoon, the Inn at Pearl Street (the Cottage Room) in the Judges Hill neighborhood. It was a lovely B&B with nice folk both running the place and guests also attending the conference, but it was quite a walk from the convention center. I don't think I was prepared for how warm those first few days were, but I was determined to get my exercise and sweatily hoofed it to and fro. It was lovely seeing the older homes, solid Victorians, others limestone clad, others with the plantation two-porch style.

After two restless nights there I moved (I really underestimated how hard it would be to get a room during SXSW!) to my current spot, a studio behind a private home. It felt a little risky--I didn't know anything about who I was sending my money too nor the neighborhood, but it all worked out well. After I realized that neither of the keys my "landlady" gave me worked and she called a locksmith (on a Saturday, when she was due to leave the following day at 6am!).

The time change has been a little amusing. My iPhone and computer budged an hour automatically last night, but stubbornly remain on California time; my cell phone changed to Central time when I touched down in San Antonio, but has refused to acknowledge the spring forward--I assumed that it would so imagine my surprise when I came downstairs this morning and compared it with my good ol' analog watch, whose hands I have been dutifully twirling about myself. Thank goodness for it! I suspect that's contributed to my discombobulation today.

*****

In other news: it's been very busy and stressful at work these past few weeks, so that's not really news, is it? So much that I almost didn't make the trek to Texas, but I'm glad I did. It was Restaurant Week in Sonoma County at the end of February, so M and I did our part, going out once just the two of us and again with another couple we're fond of. I had a lovely gals date with a friend a few weekends ago. We went to brunch and a movie and shopping and caught up and basically had a fine time. This warm Texas weather has me jonesing for spring at home. I'm sure it will be here before I know it--to everything turn, turn, turn...

Back from New York

2011-02-21T21:46:00.001-08:00

Central Park
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

This is one of those posts that I dread, in a way. I want to put it all down, but there was so much! It's hard, in a rewarding way, though with so much to remember, I know detail will be lacking. I've been thinking about my post for the last couple of days, but have been busy getting back into the swing of suburban life, pruning roses and walking the dogs and doing many loads of laundry to actually dig in and write. But here goes:

The conference came off very well, if I do say so myself. This was the first time that my boss wasn't there at all--she had pressing business elsewhere, so it was left to the two other managers and me to make it happen. There were a few heart-stopping moments (for instance, there was a hiccup in the main server on the first day that brought our registration system down, but only for a short time very early in the day), but there was also a lot of fun. I dug deep and summoned every fiber of hostess I had and spoke to more people than I had in a long time. I bowled with total strangers at our opening party and had a fabulous time. I met and spoke with both Margaret Atwood and Ben Huh and heard several very inspiring presentations about the future of publishing.

Even one negative thing turned out fine: I was given a renovated room in the hotel, which normally would have been great, but the overwhelming glue/fiber smell was hard for me to take. I had difficulty sleeping that first night and feel headache-y and puffy the next day. Luckily, one of my coworkers was very disappointed that his room was not one of the renovated ones, so we swapped. I could see why the hotel was upgrading all of the rooms, the old ones were quite worn, but I felt so much better!

On my first day before the conference started, I arrived in New York in time to drop my things at the hotel and walk up to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I had seen an advertisement for a new photography exhibit, Stieglitz, Steichen, Strand and since the museum was open late on Saturdays, it seemed the perfect thing to do. I really wanted to be out in the city that night, to feel it, absorb it again. And feel it I did. It was quite chilly, and I was grateful for my overcoat and accessories. Before taking in the exhibit, I went up to the balcony bar to have a glass of wine and bite to eat. Classical musicians were playing and it was very crowded, but lovely young artist sketching at a table agreed to share with me and it was pleasant being alone yet also not alone.

I didn't have any other time during the conference to make non-work excursions and thought I would be pretty burnt out. And there were very long days, but I had more energy than usual. Maybe I'm more of an extrovert than I thought. The night the conference ended, I had dinner with my friend Cathleen. She chose an absolutely spectacular place, Robert, which is at the top of the new Museum of Art and Design at Columbus Circle. Groovy and delicious! Three hours of catching up with a friend is a great way to unwind.

The next day I made my way up to the Cooper-Hewitt to see the Van Cleef & Arpels exhibit, but to my dismay I misremembered the date and it was only open to journalists! Great gnashing of teeth as I realized I'd wasted most of a precious morning. I consoled myself with a few moments in Central Park…

…and halal food from a street cart back in midtown and a quilt show at the American Folk Art Museum. That visit was one of the few times I had ever joined a tour, and it was exceedingly pleasant. There were just five of us plus the guide, so lots of opportunities to ask questions and stop to really look at the quilts. Incredible stitching techniques and very fanciful designs. I particularly loved the crazy quilts, painting and embroidery layering the different fabrics.

After the quilt show, I settled into my new hotel. Quite a change from the conference hotel. It was actually quite pleasant despite the minuscule size and lack of closet. And what it lacked in view, it made up for in quiet.

Except for that first night, the weather had warmed considerably, which was very strange but also welcome. I left my hotel and stopped into Eataly for pistachio gelato, something I probably wouldn't have done if it had been chilly out. I wandered down Fifth Avenue to Washington Square and my old NYU haunts. I spent far too much time in the university bookstore trying on just about every jacket they had. I then spent too much money on one that wasn't quite right, but there it is. I had just enough time to drop it off at the hotel before squeezing onto the 6 train and heading up to Sara and Chandran's for a very lovely dinner with the family.

Friday was the most active day I've had in quite a while! I met up with Cathleen again for breakfast the next morning at Les Halles, one of Anthony Bourdain's restaurants in a lovely, ornate old building very close to my hotel. Nothing like a bowl of coffee and talking with a good friend to gird one's loins for rooms filled with incredibly sparkly and impossibly expensive jewelry at the Cooper-Hewit. Princess Grace's tiara and engagement suite, a maharani's diamond and emerald collar, broaches from Liz Taylor, Doris Duke, Maria Callas…I felt bling overload after the second room but soldiered on to see it all. All of it was encased in bubbles of clear glass, but we were still told not to lean in. They were loaning iPads with lots more information about the exhibit--I didn't want to lug it around, but it seemed like a good idea.

I left the museum mansion and made my way down to join my Martha Stewart Living friends for a pizza lunch and tiki party (plastic leis and bubbles) out on the roof deck--still the oddly warm weather persisted. We had to speak in hushed tones inside--the offices are in a barely renovated warehouse and the acoustics are very harsh. We managed to have a lovely time.

I had 15 minutes to lie down at the hotel after that visit before subwaying it back uptown to meet my friend Vanessa for dinner. We hadn't had much contact in over a decade and our lives have definitely changed a lot since we worked together in New York, but it was easy to reconnect with her.

I was especially moved by her recent experience--she had been in a terrible accident last fall and her recovery was tenuous. She's healed in many ways, but it's given her a new perspective and renewed faith. It reminded me how much I have to be grateful for.

But wait, there was more to my evening! I met cousins Kamala and Eliza on the East Side for a play, The Body Politic, starring a friend of mine from college days and directed by his wife whom I had been friends with while living in New York. I chatted with both after the show, and while it was good to see them both, those connections didn't feel as strong. Though it was good to hear that she was still carrying on the tradition of the valentine making parties I'd started in New York so long ago…

My final morning I met up with the whole cousinly clan for a South Indian breakfast. Good coffee and dosa and family was a wonderful end to my visit.

*****

I started some poetry when I was in New York last fall and worked on it again while I was riding the subway last week. It's not finished, but here's a draft:

We wait together for the breath of the train
Thud of the wheels like a heartbeat
Go go go

Woman on the subway waits with
Her high hair and head in her hands
Her high heels grateful for a seat
People wait together and also apart
Separated
by newspapers fatigue destinations

It's humid here
Here there is snow
But the girls wade through it
in high heels and high boots, model chins
Rising above sirens and whistles

Subway cars of people pass
Windows revealing tears, secret smiles
Lovers squeezing close in a crowd
Reminding the world that love
Is the stage, the platform
The foundation of human
The drama of how quickly the train
Pulls away from the station
And hurtles into darkness

The Weekend in Pictures

2011-02-06T17:37:00.000-08:00

Nearly Done in Santa Clara

2011-02-02T22:07:00.001-08:00

View from the Hyatt Santa Clara, Feb 2011
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

The first conference of the year ends tomorrow. I haven't left the hotel since I arrive Monday morning, except to visit the car a couple of times. Such is the event biz--it's been busy, which is a good thing. I'll be glad to be home tomorrow night to see man and dogs.

Off to Santa Clara

2011-01-30T19:11:00.001-08:00

Cloche avant felting
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

I'm sure I look pretty silly now. I'm sitting in front of the laptop in my cloche, which I made on the spur of the moment this weekend, while it dries to the shape of my noggin. It smells faintly sheepy, which of course is not entirely pleasant. I think it was a procrastination project--ostensibly it's for my trip to New York in a couple of weeks, hence the urgency, but the roses languish unpruned and I have yet to pack for our first conference of the year, a sojourn that begins bright and early tomorrow. I just had to finish it! Not. But I did and I am fairly happy with it. My last felted cloche attempt just didn't fit right and I now employ it as a cozy for the French press, which is not dishonorable, but still...

I'm also wearing the shrug that I FINALLY finished after months of sucking up 2x2 ribbing in front of the TV. My yarn stash has diminished a bit and once I finish the daisy scarf-y thing I started last week, I won't have any pending projects. Ack! Better think of something soon.

As I leave tomorrow, M returns home. He's been wanting to take a motorcycle road trip for ages, and did it late last week, riding all the way down to the seat of his ancestral home in Orange County. If all goes well he'll be able to stop off at my hotel late in the afternoon for a brief visit. It would be heartening to see him. It's been very busy at work lately, what with the show next week which has sold out and the show in NY starting on Valentine's Day which will sell out shortly. I'm very glad that they're both going so well, but it will also be a relief to wrap them up.

Speaking of Valentine's Day, I was transported when I saw the February issue of Martha Stewart Living that featured a Valentine making party article. Ah, those were the days! The cards we made at my parties weren't nearly as sophisticated, but they were wonderful, heads-down-glueing-as-fast-as-we-can kind of afternoons, and the glitter never did quite vacuum out of my carpet, a nice year-round reminder. I do miss them.

Among all this work is happy visiting time. My aunt and uncle are coming out from Rochester in just a few days, so at this time next week I'll be seeing them along with Mom, brothers, and families. For the NY trip, I've decided to stay a few extra days after the show in order to see friends and family. And perhaps I'll have time to take the subway down to Poets House and a yarn shop or two. I dropped my overcoat at the cleaners this weekend--I suspect I'll need it.

OK, time to pack. Santa Clara ho!

Roxy Update PS--It's definitely better. No blood has been drawn lately and inter-canine growls are at a minimum. She's in the swing of our little rituals, so is following direction pretty well. She seems to be losing a little weight and getting in better shape. The one big downside--her fur is everywhere, though I comb her regularly, softening the corners of every room and darkening the tops of the baseboard. Guess that's just the wages of a large dog. A Roomba purchase may be imminent.

The Weekend So Far

2011-01-15T18:59:00.001-08:00

Rex fleury
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

While I worked most of yesterday, which was supposed to be a day off, it was still pleasant since I wasn't actually in the office. After weeks of rainy, gray, chilly weather, it turned absolutely gorgeous. I did meet M downtown for lunch at a Japanese restaurant and took les mutts for a long walk. The grass is juicy and the daisies and mustard are starting to bloom. Unfortunately, the new owners of the unfinished development are starting to work on the site again, so there goes a great place to walk the dogs in the winter.

Today was equally lovely weather wise and M and I took care of a dream chore I've been talking about for a while now: planting a peach tree. I know they're finicky what with the leaf curl, but dang it I love them. There were so many to choose from at the Urban Tree Farm!

We couldn't decide between a Rio Oso and a Suncrest, so I flipped a penny and it came up heads--so we got both. We also picked up a couple of violet trumpet vines to plant against the chain link fence. I hope that will help make the backyard seem less incarceration-y.

After the planting exertion, we had a very late lunch at Willie Bird, a dive-y Sonoma County institution that has been featured on cooking shows to watch the Ravens-Steelers playoff game and take in the local bar scene. Quite entertaining. I walked the dogs when we got home and now we're enjoying a quiet evening. I'm trying to make the most of this break in the gloom, and a few extra days break from work. It's going to be hard campaign from now til June. What will my adventure be tomorrow?

*****

Here's a photo of two of my Not-So-Secret Santa gifts--I must have been a very good girl last year because I really scored. Thanks, Glo!

Happy Birthday

2011-01-09T21:30:00.001-08:00

Birthday Boy at breakfast
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

M turned 40 today. I'm hoping it was a good day for him. And a good weekend. I know it's a milestone and I should have thrown him a party, but well...I have a hard time socializing with people en masse and frankly he really shouldn't have married a crowd-hating introvert if he wanted parties. I figure I have ten years to work up the energy to have a party for his big Five-Oh. But wait, I'll be nearly 60...forget it!

Last night we went over to a friend's house for dinner--I suspect they were pretty shocked that there was no party and had us over to compensate. They have two lovely daughters, one of whom sang as part of the evening's entertainment, as well as a large, affectionate dog and five cats, two of whom took up post prandial residence on our laps. How I miss daily feline affection.

Today we had a very tasty brunch where the waitresses sang "Happy Birthday" and several other patrons wished him same on our way out. We raced go-karts and played mini-golf and air hockey. We took a quick motorcycle ride through the late afternoon chill, admiring the countryside of Bennett Valley and Crane Canyon. And we just got back from a most excellent and gut-busting dinner at Stark's steakhouse where every course was Just. So. Good. Even the cheesecake at the end almost rivaled Mom's, which is saying quite a bit.

Any while it's not a milestone, Happy Birthday, Jay! I hope to see you in just a couple of weeks, dear brother.

Bowling!

2011-01-08T09:01:00.001-08:00

Bowling!
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

It was date night last night. M called me at work and asked if I would be up for about a two-hour activity after dinner. I said yes. I asked after my attire and he said just comfortable clothes was the only concern. It was very pleasant to not know what was coming but just be along for the ride. We ate swanky pizza first. At the the Double Decker Lanes (which as far as we can tell has only one story), we shot pool while waiting for a lane to open. It was very crowded, and very diverse too. I think the common thread was folks with not a lot of money. We had a grand time. My only disappointment was the bowling shoes. While the new fabric style certainly is more comfortable and retains its clownish appeal, they're so cheap as to be beneath stealing. Which is probably the point.

Happy New Year

2011-01-04T20:44:00.001-08:00

Damp at Coppola
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

And so far it is happy. I'm sitting on the couch in front of the tube with my beloved human and my two favorite canines. Life is good.

The rest of our visit with Christin and Scott was great fun. The Coppola winery was fairly engrossing--a lot of movie memorabilia and awards to admire, and inside places to roam to stay out of the rain. The food didn't live up to its surroundings, but there could be worse things. We spent a few hours at the Indian casino after lunch--Luck was a lady to the men, but not her fellow ladies. Well, I did not venture a roll with the bones, choosing to sit in the bar with a beer to take in some televised football while the others wandered among the smoke-wreathed one-armed bandits, insistently chiming like colorful blinking sirens. I had forgotten how hard it is for me to be inside where smoking is allowed. One highlight was the collection of baskets from the late 19th-early 20th century on display. It was a great illustration of how feathers are used in weaving.

My cold waited until after our houseguests left to visit. Between the chill, gloomy weather and my sniffling, the rest of my vacation was just a scoche anti-climatic, but it was still good to sleep in and take long walks with the dogs and indulge in lots of movies with just a little productivity thrown in. I did have one other "first" experience of note: on Saturday night as we were settling in for a long winter's nap, M pointed to my eye and said "You better go look in the mirror." And there it was, a subconjunctival hemorrhage. Not pleasant to look at, but otherwise not an issue. I was only half-heartedly hoping it would be a reason not to go back to the gym, but the eye doc disabused me of that notion. So tomorrow the last of the holiday afterglow will dissipate when the radio sounds in the dark hours of dawn summoning me to my long neglected exercise ablutions.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T12:36:00.001-08:00

It was a stressful work week trying to get everything wrapped up and in a place where I could feel comfortable not checking email much during our time off, but I made it. As if I had a choice! Time passes and Christmas arrives and there it is.

We did have some fun at work--our department had a "light off" competition between the teams, which at first I thought would be something to do with saving energy but turned out to be quite the opposite. Each group decorated their area of the office, mostly with lights, and then our graphic design department came over to judge who won. And my team did! It was great fun, and a nice way to take a breather here and there during the day. We turned one of the desks into Santa's, and one of my coworkers and I created the fireplace, which I think turned out particularly well. So many uses for sparkly red tulle!

*****

On the way home from SFO
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

Murray's sister Christin and her boyfriend Scott arrived on Thursday afternoon, and we've been having a jolly time. We've had a break in the rain, which has been very welcome--we had a lovely view of the City on the way home from SFO.

Yesterday we spent the afternoon at Safari West which was so fun! Well, seeing cheetahs and the larger animals like rhinos in small enclosures is a little depressing, but most of the creatures have a fair amount of space to roam around. We toured the aviaries first, then took a jeep tour around the 400 acres--lots of giraffes, zebras, varieties of boks, cranes, wildebeests. It was funny seeing so many exotic animals wandering our familiar oak studded hills.

I now officially covet Watusi cattle, Victoria crowned pigeons, cranes of every feather, and perhaps a Red River hog or two. In the gift shop, M pointed out porcupine quills to me, so I purchased two, perfect closures for my cocoon scarf! In the gift shop, M pointed out porcupine quills to me, so I purchased two, perfect closures for my cocoon scarf!

More photos on Flickr.

*****

We'll open presents today, maybe see a movie. M has a prime rib dinner planned. Tomorrow I think we'll have lunch at Rustic, the restaurant at the new Coppola vineyard. It's so nice taking a break from the everyday routine!

Recent Recap

2010-12-12T21:05:00.001-08:00

New scarf
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

I've taken a long break from my shrug project--it's both a little hard on my hands and frankly, boring. However, I found some very cheap cocoon yarn at Big Lots and whipped up this cozy scarf. It's a bit on the short side, so I had to figure out a closure. I was going to use some beautiful silver buttons I bought at the Grand Canyon on my 40th birthday trip, but I've found that long hair pins I have work very well and are easier than a permanent clasp of some sort.

Today M and I had fun choosing and cutting a Christmas tree. Thankfully we planned it as the second activity of the day, the first being a visit to Bed, Bath and Beyond which was a holiday vision of hell. It was cleansing to drive out to the fog-shrouded hills of West County, dreaming of what it would be like to live out in that very dear countryside. It didn't take us long to find a tree that we both liked particularly since it didn't have to be very tall--we're putting it on a chest to keep it out of range of Roxy's tail.

Since we had a "light off" at work last week and my coworkers and I had pooled every string of light we had to festoon our digs, M and I needed lights for our fresh new tree. So after the tree sawing, we swung by Big Lots--my ulterior motive of course was hoping for more cocoon yarn which someone had scooped up soon after I had been there, but I was disappointed yet again. We picked up many hundreds of feet of new lights, both for inside and out. I was excited to try white LED lights on the tree, but I must admit I'm a little disappointed--they're a bit too bluish. So I think I'll be picking up a few more feet of illumination tomorrow. Which means we still have tree decorating to look forward to this week.

Thanksgiving and into Twelfth Month

2010-12-04T18:19:00.001-08:00

Pt. Arena lighthouse from Sea Dune beach
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

It seemed like an extra good Thanksgiving this year, though it wasn't particularly different from our traditional holiday. Thanksgiving Day was achingly brilliant weather-wise and some of us celebrated with a walk on the beach. Roxy tested my limits, wandering off not once but twice into the beach grass where her brindle coat made her invisible and not coming when I called. I got a lot of exercise that day, which is not a bad thing. And she scared up an enormous jack rabbit, which is always a happy sight.

M reports that the brined and grilled turkey came out perfectly, the best ever. Steve was there with his girlfriend Tammy and it was nice to see him after so long. The day after Thanksgiving we met Liz, Katrin, and families in town for shopping and beer drinking, which was lovely.

I slept well, ate well, felt relaxed. A true vacation.

*****

We left the coast a day early--M's truck has been deteriorating into a heap for a while now and he wanted to take care of it, but was waffling. Spend a fair amount of time and money on the clutch, windshield, starter, and getting it smogged? Or just throw in the shop towel and get a new one?

We got home Saturday afternoon and decided to visit his old car sales haunts to do some advance work, coming home with a very clean Toyota SR5. They had let him borrow it overnight. The next morning we drove it over the hills to Napa to see how it performed on both the windy roads and the highway and it did very well. So he pulled the trigger and now we have a lovely new vehicle in the driveway.

Funny how Roxy played a small part in the truck decision. The truck has a camper shell and is carpeted, so the dogs ride in the back when M takes them for walks. She's a lot of canine, and it's a relief to be separated from her panting self, though it was really not too bad on the way up to Manchester.

*****

Thanksgiving is also the going-steady anniversary for M and me--it's been sixteen years now. It's fun to think back to that first holiday we spent together, in my tiny New York apartment, sharing split pea soup as our dinner feast. I think we were both pretty sure even then that we'd be married one day. (I just asked him about it and he agrees.)

*****

We're off to a party tonight--one of M's friend's wife is having a 50th birthday bash. Pizza and togas, beer and Hawaiian shirts, that sort of thing. I have to work on securing my toga well since I plan to cut a disco rug or two this evening.

Lovely Sunday

2010-11-23T09:38:00.001-08:00

With Colin
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

I had a very nice day on Sunday, particularly in the evening when M and I went to the Honeys in Petaluma for dinner. Nick's dad Colin is visiting from England and I enjoyed catching up with him. Liz, Ella, and Katrin were there as well as another family in the Honey circle.

In the morning on Sunday I managed to finally get my spring bulbs in their pots, but I noticed last night that the soil has since been disturbed--I suspect a certain small canine is secreting treats from the interloper.

Writers Retreat

2010-11-20T14:59:00.001-08:00

Stinson Beach path
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

So this is what it takes for me to compose a blog post these days: holing up on a dramatically stormy Saturday in a cabin at Stinson Beach with four other writer gals. What I sacrifice! It does make me a little regretful that I didn't do NaNoWriMo after all this year. They're all working on real novels. Sigh. But when November actually got underway, I knew I couldn't do it this year. Well, there's always next year. Or even all of the months in between, right?

Part of my lack of posting has definitely been my stress level these past few weeks. It's been up there. But now the conference that was partly to blame for that anxiety wrapped up last Wednesday. It was just two and a half days long and in the City, and I had some good Thai food and excellent coffee and good company so it was relatively pleasant. It was held at The Palace Hotel, which is lovely and historic and apparently haunted, which is what I blame the bad dreams I had while I was there on. They were just this side of nightmarish. One in particular is still with me: M and I were living in what seemed to be a tiny cinderblock room, graffiti'd, filled with trash, part of the roof open to the rain, filled with insects including one that perfectly matched the ratty grass green bedspread--it crept across the mattress in a, well, creepy fashion. In the dream, I couldn't figure out why we were living there--hadn't we just spent all that time and money redoing our house? Bad dreams about Home worry me a bit. But then, it is just a dream. And while I remain unsatisfied with the home we really have, it goes to show--things could be a lot worse.

View from The Palace Hotel, Nov 2010
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

One thing I did to relieve a little stress but did take a bit of toll on my writing time was to take a weekend to work on my succulent collection. I've neglected them for years and the grouping was looking dejected and haphazard. So I repotted all but my two largest pots that were still doing OK, including the carnivorous plants since the barrel they were in was rotting and filled with a virulent clover. I tried to balance using things we had on hand--terracotta pots, concrete bricks, and a leftover length of kitchen counter granite--with getting a few replacement pots it help with the match-iness. I was a little ruthless, tossing and "gifting" a few pots worth of greenery that I just didn't want anymore. While the plants still looks a little thrown-together, it looks much more coordinated, and the succulents in particular have room to fill in, so I expect they'll look even nicer in the next year or so. I also decided to fill a couple of pots with spring flowering bulbs, so I hope to have a good colorful show of tulips, freesia, crocus, ranunculus, hyacinth, and narcissus this year. I do need to figure out a pot for herbs. While I was shopping for pots, I did come across a number of fountains that I liked very much, but M is still very persuasive in his argument against them (mostly that they require maintenance, an aspect that we don't really devote much time to).

We're not going anywhere for the holiday break, so if we have the energy we'll finally put the water troughs that I bought ages ago to use as planters. That's a real project, however. I would love to have tomatoes again this summer, though, and it would be a nice new look for back deck area. We'll probably have to call on the neighbor to help us. And plant the peach tree and rosa banksia we finally decided on for camouflaging the back fence. Good thing we have almost two weeks off! We also need to scatter the wildflower seeds we bought in Texas soon too. Maybe we can do that tomorrow.

Roxy update: Another stress factor recently has been Roxy, though on a much different level than getting ready for a show. We had a trainer come in for a few hours to give us some advice. While I wished she had actually interacted with the dogs more so I could have observed her behavior with them, she did recommend some things for us to do that are making a difference. We have to be as gods to them, making all of the decisions for them so they look to us to work stuff out, not leaving anything for them to work out between them. We pet them and feed them when we want to, not when they ask for it. She loves being underfoot in the kitchen, and I have to be more consistent about ordering her out while I'm cooking.

I do feel more attached to Roxy every day. When I came home from the conference after three days away she was so sweet, meeting me at the door and planting her head against my knees then crumpling into a furry heap at my feet while doing her little doggy whine/purr. She and Rex seem to be doing better. She still tries to keep him away from us humans and challenges his paths around the house. But he doesn't seem as scared of her as he was in the days after the biting incident. We're getting into a little routine, which helps. The newest bummer--she's a digger, with much more dramatic results than Rex's attempts to de-gopher the yard. But things are going in the right direction.

I have a lot to look forward to. Tomorrow is a potluck chez Honeys, and Liz and Katch will be there with families. Nick's dad is visiting from England, and it will be good to see him. And it's just three days in the office next week before Thanksgiving. Hardly anyone will be in next week, so I'm hoping to be very productive.

Separated at Birth?

2010-11-11T20:39:00.000-08:00

When I saw this photo of Myla I asked Mom to send me this photo of me, the one I always associate with Mom's inspiration to nickname me "Little Nikita" after Kruschev, because I thought they looked a bit similar. But of course seeing them together it's clear that Myla is waaaay cuter.

Happy Halloween

2010-10-31T18:36:00.001-07:00

Birthday dog
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

And Happy 10th Birthday, Rex!

Though this "holiday" is not very obvious to me today, particularly since I've been sort of hibernating. We didn't do jack o' lanterns this year and I'm limiting my costuming to a tea-tasting party we had at work on Friday afternoon. I wouldn't really call it a costume since it was a perfectly lovely ensemble that someone had worn quite a bit, though it hasn't been fashionable for a good forty years. My false eyelashes were a little outlandish. The one nice thing about Halloween on a Sunday is that there are celebrations throughout the weekend and it's kinda fun seeing people going about their business in scary outfits and makeup and thinking nothing of it. I certainly didn't get much of a reaction when I ran errands on the way home Friday evening. M has proposed we hide from the trick or treaters tonight since Rex despises them and gets upset and we don't really know how Roxy will react.
Roxy seems to be settling in pretty well, but it's not all a bed of cedar chips with Rex. They've gotten into a couple of scraps and she's bitten him and drawn blood. That's been the worst. At best they cede positions at the door or water bowl and sort of ignore each other. We had a dog trainer visit us yesterday. I was a little disappointed that she didn't work more with the dogs--we mostly chatted--but she did observe Roxy giving Rex "the eye" and that's something we hadn't really noticed before. Her overall advice to us is to establish us humans as the idols and taking all decisions away from the dogs, not giving into their requests for food and petting and the like--it all has to happen on our terms and they don't have to figure anything out between them. It's going to take some adjustment--it's been 10 years since we've been in training mode with Rex. Well, that's a part of why we adopted Roxy, to change things up at home. The trainer guesses that she's a mashup of Lab, Shepherd, and maybe Boxer--no Pit Bull as we had thought. She got a clean bill of health from the vet last week as well as her rabies shot, so I sent off her certificate to get her tag from the county.

I took a break from my shrug project to whip up this cowl meant for motorcycling since it's not as bulky as a scarf. But it's not quite right. I think I need to make one that's adjustable somehow. But not bulky. This is a knitting conundrum.
Today is the last day of October, meaning that tomorrow NaNoWriMo begins. I have been a total slacker on that assignment. As night draws nigh, I still don't have any bright ideas for a new novel, so we'll see how it goes.

Wilbur and a Welcome

2010-10-24T10:04:00.001-07:00

View from the Willows Motel, Wilbur WA Oct 2010
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

Last weekend was my wonderful visit with Grandma. That semi-annual pilgrimage is one I look forward to so much. It's a comforting ritual. I'm always so glad to reconnect with Grandma, hear how she's doing and what's new with various family members I don't learn about otherwise. She had some new family history and pictures to share this visit, which is always interesting. It's inspiring and humbling for me to visit with her. She has an appreciation and curiosity for people and activities--life in general--that reminds me not to take mine for granted.
It's also pleasant just to get away to Wilbur, which is a little Brigadoon-ish to me--it doesn't change much from visit to visit and I often run into the same characters every time. While I had my annual plain cake doughnut and wandered the cemetery and chatted with the nice cashier at Sandy's as always do, I also tried to mix things up a bit by having lunch at the next town one day. I've never done that before. It was a little awkward being alone there for some reason. I had to resort to gazing at the iPhone for comfort. It was opening weekend for deer season and while there were many camo-clad men in large trucks everywhere, luckily I was spared the sight of any carcasses.

More photos on Flickr.

Two days before the trip to Wilbur, this photo appeared in my mailbox at work:
…with the sad story of how she's worn out her foster home welcome would be going to the pound unless adopted immediately. I forwarded it to M, sure that he would respond with a "what are you thinking?" remark, but instead he said the opposite. He was actually in Sebastopol where Roxy was staying and swung by to see her. His report was that she was large but sweet and he thought she'd do just fine with us. I couldn't believe it. Earlier in the week I'd driven home one evening from work and passed a woman begging on Main Street in Sebastopol, which is just something you don't see, and I thought, "Why doesn't someone help her?" Followed by "Why aren't I someone?" So the idea of being someone, even for a dog, was in my mind. As was our home situation--with M teaching and taking long weekend motorcycle rides, Rex has been home alone a lot lately. I could help a creature that needed it. Maybe it would help with that rut thing too.

So a week ago Friday M picked up Roxy and she's been adjusting since then. I was a little jealous of M being able to bond with her without me, but I think he has a greater affinity for her in general. Frankly, now that the do-gooder glow has worn off, I'm having a little bit of large-dog remorse, particularly now that the rain has arrived and it's becoming clearer just how much more attention and food a bigger dog consumes. And there is some tension between her and Rex, which is to be expected. They got into a brawl over treats a few days ago, which freaked me out--she's at least twice Rex's size. Rex has been teasing her, playing with toys that he hasn't touched in a year and then snapping at her when she tries to take them up. He peed in front of her dog bed, which also happened to be on my new wool rug. They growl at each other when they greet us at the front gate. He hasn't really responded to her attempts to play with him. But the last couple of days have been better. The growls are going away. She seems to be less stressed about her new surroundings and of course is as devoted to M as he is to her. She really is a lovely, loving canine and as long as her relationship to Rex warms up, I'll be glad to have her with us.
In other news:

The burn I suffered on my ankle a couple of weeks ago dismounting from the motorcycle is still icky, but on the mend. I decided I should be prudent and saw the doc about it on Friday. She recommended a 10-day course of antibiotics and a tetanus booster shot. My deltoid is still aching from that stick two days later.

This weekend marks our first fall storm. I woke up at 5:00 a.m. and now it's 10:00 in the morning and feels like it hasn't really become a day yet it's still so dark outside. I'm glad for the rain so early in the season. M has promised to take me out for the world's strongest cup of coffee (so he claims), which issues forth from the Clover machine at our downtown Starbucks, so maybe that will help to jumpstart the day. Better go wake him.

Photos from NY

2010-10-13T17:32:00.000-07:00

There are more in the Flickr set.

New York Recap

2010-10-10T19:38:00.001-07:00

Madhu Chhibbers at Genesee Country Village
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

Today is apparently an auspicious date: 10-10-10. OK!

So, the New York visit was wonderful.

The conference turned out very well, which is a relief as always. And it was also very busy, but I was conscientious about being sure to get out and about whenever possible, and though the weather was a bit muggy, the rain held off when I needed it to.

On that Tuesday evening, I took the subway down to the Village and wandered into SoHo, with the goals of finding Purl SoHo and Lupa. Unfortunately, Washington Square Park was still under construction, but maybe that's for the best as it kept me walking. I get very emotional when I'm in that neighborhood still. It's as if the excitement and uncertainty and adventure and promise are intertwined with the streets and structures, not me. So when I return to those neighborhoods where I live through so much, I feel all that energy flooding back. So many what-ifs came welling up too, mainly "what if I'd stayed in NY" and review of all the dumb mistakes I made. I stopped several times to tap some snippets of poetry into my iPhone (gotta dig those out at the next meeting of the Pointy Pals).

And then my wander became a bit more of a forced march. I did not make it to Purl SoHo before it closed unfortunately. And I thought I knew where Lupa was, but somehow I must have missed it on my way down from Washington Square. Walking by the closed shops and tourist-y restaurants, it became clear as my feet and hips began to ache that I'm definitely not in the walking shape I used to be and I was becoming quite hungry, which always makes me grumpy. I headed back toward the subway, feeling a little defeated and unsatisfied. But still I clung to a little hope that the travel magic would come though and reveal the adventure (mostly culinary) I was supposed to have…and sure enough it did! I retraced my steps up what I hoped was the street for Lupa, but on the opposite side and there it was, like a tiny bit of Brigadoon. I had missed it because the name was only printed on the front of the awning, which was not visible on my first pass. It was crowded but I persisted, practicing my being-OK-with-just-being-there chops and waited patiently and without digital device crutches near the hostess station enjoying the view of the street til a seat finally opened up at the bar. And of course it was just the right place for me. Through the packed-in din, I overheard conversations from the Wall Street guys and the bridge-and-tunnel yuppies, always amusing. I also practiced my lone-gal outreach and struck up a conversation with the young man next to me, who was the new boyfriend of the bartender. He turned out to be from Turkey, selling furniture and studying at the New School, hoping to eventually go home to help the gay community there. I also discovered that I can't really read menus in low light anymore. Sigh. The wages of age continue to accumulate.

The following night was dinner chez Caiola Madhu. It was dry enough to walk crosstown to the 6 train uptown. I paused for a bit in the station to hear some good music. The platform was so crowded! And not everyone who wanted to made it on the train when it finally arrived. I perversely enjoyed it, but I know that if I lived there and had to commute through that sea of humanity every day being smushed and jostled, it would be very trying. My evening at Sara and Chandran’s was lovely. It’s amazing how the kids have changed of course. Their new puppy Gus is adorable and an energetic addition to the household. Blacker seems to be getting used to him, and it made me a little sad that my cats never were able to adjust to Rex. It was nice have some four-legged creature interaction, though I think it inspired some bittersweet dreams of Veronica that night. Dinner with family is such a special thing when I’m working and far away from home. It takes my brain completely out of work mode and is therefore extra relaxing in addition to simply joyful family time.

Thursday was my splurge evening. I met up with my dear friend Cathleen at Trattoria dell Arte, which was very close to the hotel. We spent almost four hours lingering over wine and good food, outlasting our original waiter. Though his replacement was lovely, wandering the tables with commercial-sized pans of cookies for patrons to pluck at will. It was a great way to unwind after the conference, though the bad weather was niggling at my brain a little--I didn't want to be delayed in my travels to Rochester the next day. She told me about a friend of hers whose husband is going through a mid-life crisis--he went out and bought a Ducati and apparently pretty much doing things his own way. So she suggested "Think Ducati" should be my new slogan, and so far I'm liking it quite a bit. It's a little like the ring M gave me for my birthday--a reminder to stay out of the rut.

The weather did indeed worsen overnight. A colleague and I had agreed to travel to the airport together--she also happened to be traveling to Rochester on the same flight--so we left the hotel earlier than originally planned.Which means I didn't have time to do anything that last morning in Manhattan other than sleep in and check email one last time--though that was something I really needed to do to start my vacation with peace of mind. While the cab ride to JFK was uneventful, we had a two-hour delay for the flight. It was nice having a traveling companion. We had lunch together and it was nice getting to know her a little better outside of the office.

But all's well that ends well. The flight landed in time for Kalyani to whisk me away to Brockport for a quick dinner and then on to the high school for the Homecoming football game. Ashwani and Hannah had saved us some great seats and Jo and Susi piped and drummed the Blue Devils to an unexpected victory. The rest of my visit was chilly and damp, but the rain held off til night, so we were able to enjoy activities during the day.

On Saturday I met Aunt Janice's chickens, then we went apple picking followed by a quick trip to the lake house, lunch, and a visit to a very busy Brown's Farm for ice cream and further enjoyment of the delights of rural living. Ashwani whipped up a fabulous spicy dinner then Kalyani, Hannah, and I headed to downtown for a performance by the Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra. It was so wonderful--a full house in a beautiful hall. Listening to live classical music is not something I do often enough and I feel like I could use more music education to appreciate it more fully. But seeing it live helped me hear it better. I could focus on trying to pick out particular instruments. I really liked being in a part of such a large group of fans--they helped me hear it too. After the concert we had dessert with friends of Kalyani's which really gilded the lily.

Sunday featured a very retro adventure: a trip to the Genesee Country Museum, a collection of historical homes and businesses making up a little village, peopled by very enthusiastic docents. Added bonus--the local ag society was there, filling tents with sheep and goats, horses in all sizes, slender upright runner ducks, ruffly Sebastopol geese, wildly feathered chickens, and two technicolor varieties of pheasants I'd never seen before. Two sets of long horned oxen wandered with their humans, and huge black Percherons in spectacular harness pulled a wagon through town. We chatted with the kitchen lady making butter, potato soup, and cheese, the man making beer (or perhaps it was whiskey), and the Shaker lady who informed us that Shakers not only invented the flat broom but also that, inspired by her spinning wheel, a Shaker woman invented the circular saw. I also got a close-up look at a cobblestone house, a beautiful architectural style concentrated in the Brockport area. When we got home, Aunt Janice, Uncle Madhu, and Noah had arrived from their Shakespearean sojourn to Stratford. After an afternoon of visiting and catching up, it was a lovely pie-focused dinner at the Madhu Chhibbers.

Monday was school and work for most of the clan, so Aunt Janice and I had the day together. We took a short stroll around their property before the rain started up again (the overgrown riot of green was such a welcome change from dry golden California!), then decamped for lunch in the charming village of Brockport. We did some bookstore (she introduced me to A. Ghosh's "Sea of Poppies" which I'll start tonight) and giftshop shopping. Hannah and Noah had headed back to their respective colleges, so it was a smaller but no less delightful gathering for my last upstate dinner.

The trip home was a little eventful, but in a pleasant way--while I was waiting for the bus to Santa Rosa at SFO, I was chatted up by a somewhat older gentleman dressed in a stage-worthy style with guitar in tow. He introduced himself as Jack and definitely had some professional patter but seemed very nice; I let him use my cell phone and offered a cough drop left over from my visit to the RPO. As he debarked in Petaluma, he mentioned he performed under the name of Ramblin' Jack Elliott, a name I'm familiar with, but M and most folks at work weren't. He definitely seems to live up to his name. I heard a review of the film his daughter made of him and I think it implied he rambled with the ladies as well as his music.

More happiness when I arrived home, in the form of a happy wiggly dog and! my letter to the parking ticket office worked! They accepted my reasoning that (stupidly, I'll admit) putting money in the meter was good enough effort, despite it being the wrong meter. So my driving record continues to be spotless and that's $30 dollars I'll be hanging on to.

In other news:

With Pointy Pals Rebecca and Julia, I will once again be participating in NaNoWriMo. How many words will I write this time? When we all decided to do it about a month ago, I felt very relaxed. But now it's just a couple of weeks away and I have no idea what I'll write about. Time to really read "No Plot No Problem."

Finally, M and I took a very pleasant motorcycle ride to Calistoga yesterday. We had lunch and I suffered my first bit of motorcycle snobbery--two couples next to us in the parking space were "admiring" our beat up saddlebags as they mounted their loud, shiny, and be-Garmined bikes in full leather Harley branded attire. Whatever, people. All that was forgotten as we took the long way home, cruising up to the top of heartbreakingly scenic Alexander Valley and back down to Santa Rosa by way of equally gorgeous Westside Road. As we were putting the bike away, I didn't hop off properly and I'm now dealing with a good sized burn on my ankle from the exhaust pipe. That'll learn me.

More Coming Soon

2010-10-09T10:08:00.001-07:00

In the lamp
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

I'm working hard on a new post and adding new pix to Flickr. But! I left my power cord at work, so it's going to be a little spotty getting it all online for you this weekend. Thanks for your patience.

NY Update

2010-09-28T14:29:00.001-07:00

View from the Sheraton, New York, Sept 2010
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

So I've really only been out Sunday night, the day I arrived. I hear it's raining out there, and I did get a little sprinkled up when I ran out to get Thai food for dinner last night. I have no idea what the weather is like today. But I hope to find out this evening.

On Sunday, I took a long-ish walk down to Madison Square to visit Eataly. I was a little dazed from the trip--I didn't get much sleep the night before, but I enjoyed it, the walk as well as the overwhelming experience of wandering around the emporium of all things comestibly Italian. It was so crowded that my dining experience was mixed. Except for the pistachio gelato. That was exceptional. I can't stop thinking about it.

Some Manhattan observations: The parking meters have gone away--excellent. Shorts are in. As are leggings and super tight skinny jeans, bottoms tucked into hi-top Chuckie-Ts and the thick ankle straps of gladiator sandals. The current mode definitely has an '80s flavor, and I suspect this generation will later regret the style as much as I do. Things seem a little dirtier/rundown than I remember…but then again, the city is a couple years older than the last time I was here. As am I, sigh.

Here are some photos:

Gearing Up for New York

2010-09-25T09:12:00.001-07:00

Start of the shrug
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

Actually, I should be boiling ramen noodles for the trailer trash salad I'm to bring to Sean and Caitlin's engagement party, but…just a quick post before I go into the kitchen for that.

My birthday was lovely. Thanks to everyone for all the wishes, via Facebook, email, classic mail, phone, and in person! Technology has definitely improved my birthday. M started the day by presenting me with a new sapphire ring (it's in the shop being sized, but I'll post a photo when I have it back) and ended it by taking me out to a new restaurant for dinner (which was a good experience--it hasn't always been) and then to an improv show at our local theater. It was so good doing something new! But it's also very clear--improv is way hard.

I've been working on this new knitting project, a shrug, for quite some time now. The 2x2 ribbing is a little tedious and does get to my wrists quickly, so it's been a bit of slow going. I mostly take it up in front of the TV, so I've gotten a little distracted and it's dark in the TV room, so I've made a few mistakes. And on a simple project, that just seems stupid. But! The good thing is that, where in the past I would have just lived with ribbing that was off in some parts because I was too scared I'd screw it up even worse trying to fix it, I'm actually making myself correct the stitches. I want it to be beautiful and something I'm proud to wear, so that's been a good lesson in patience in confidence.

OK, off to more coffee and shredding veggies. I'm flying to New York for a show veerrrryyy early tomorrow morning and after the show ends, upstate to visit family--I'm so excited!!

Washington and Back Again

2010-09-16T20:48:00.001-07:00

Back of the Capitol
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

I feel like I gave the Texas visit a bit of short shrift, blog-wise. So many details I had wanted to share (and frankly put down for my own remembering later) went by the busy-life wayside. From your perspective, Dear Reader, perhaps that was a Good Thing.
So that may also be the case with my Washington DC recap. But I have three more days off from work, so then again maybe not. So you may want to skip ahead. Oh wait, I'm not blogging much lately, so there's nothing to skip ahead to. Yet. At least this is turning into a long-ish post, which I hope makes up for my silence a little.

It was hectic for me preparing for the trip, but all was accomplished of course. There is no other alternative when deadlines are involved, is there? It has to be. One big help--some friends very kindly transported Rex to his grandparents for dogsitting duties, freeing up most of the day I had taken off from work just to schlep him up the coast.

We had a night flight from SFO and landed at Dulles around 7:00 a.m., well before the first bus was scheduled to leave for Washington. I haven't done a red-eye for ages. On the plus side, the drive down was clear sailing and SFO felt a lot more mellow in the evening vs. the morning. But by the time we arrived at IAD, we were so grateful to not be on the plane anymore--it was not a comfortable flight, particularly for M who is a rather large person. I dozed on the plane but neither of us slept, so the pause at Dulles turned out to be a good transition to the other coast.

View from Henley House, Wash DC, Sept 2010
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

We arrived at the hotel, the historic Henley Park Hotel, around 9:30 a.m., and of course they didn't have a room ready for us. So we checked our bags and just started walking. We headed to Union Station, which is a lovely building. We had a bite to eat there, which staved off the grumpiness that was threatening to devour our marital harmony, then walked to the Capitol building and down along the Mall to the National Archive where we took in the Bill of Rights, Constitution, Declaration of Independence, and other historic documents. Pen, paper, ink, and signatures were once amazing tools. I'm glad I'm of the generation that experienced the transition to digital. Though the younger generations may not care, I'm grateful for the unique perspective.

We got back to the hotel around 1:00 p.m., collapsed into our tiny but pleasant room, watched TV, napped for a few hours. I insisted we get out of the room for dinner, and so we did, enjoying a very pleasant middle Eastern meal of small plates at Zaytinya. I never would have paired apricots, sweet potatoes, and pine nuts into a little fried ball, but there it is--new experiences are the reasons to travel after all. I had a glass of retsina of course, and did indeed have that sense memory of my trip to Greece lo these many moons ago. After dinner we headed to the Washington Monument and sat there for quite some time, observing the tides of tourists washing up at the foot of the Monument, ebbing down to the Reflecting Pool as the sun set and air cooled. An extra glass of wine, a bath, and a couple of melatonin tablets ensured that I had a great night's sleep--with the drapes pulled tight, we spent a good 12 hours in the Land of Nod that night.

View from the Grand Hyatt, Wash DC, Sept 2010
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

We were off to a mellow start the next day, transitioning to the conference hotel. Tuning in to the US Open was a bit of a distraction, but we love watching tennis on TV and don't get to often, so that was a small slice of the time off. We were also a bit ache-y after our long trek the day before, so M made the very sensible suggestion to buy tickets for one of the bus tours. By the time we finished a late lunch in DuPont Circle to see the Luncheon of the Boating Party painting at the Phillips Collection, we realized that we wouldn't see much more that day. But continuing on, it was a pleasant ride past the National Cathedral and into Georgetown, where we debarked the bus and embarked on a small craft for a short cruise up the Potomac.

Back on the bus, we decided to hop off at Arlington Cemetery, a place I'd never explored before. M urged us up to the Tomb of the Unknown quickly as the top of the hour was approaching and as the bell chimed 6:00, we arrived to a large crowd gathered as the changing of the guard ceremony was beginning. A wreath-laying ceremony followed, which was interesting and moving. I was close enough to hear the tall, intimidating, mirrored sunglasses-wearing member of the honor guard murmur to the middle-schoolers (including the most decorated Boy Scout I've every seen) who were saucer-eyed and petrified until he broke character and teased them a bit. After the ceremonies, we wandered through the trails between headstones, saw the simple resting places of Kennedys Robert and Edward near the more moving but still simple graves of JFK, Jackie O, and their deceased offspring. I was almost surprised seeing Jackie's marker there--those Camelot years were relatively short and she had such an amazing life after JFK was assassinated; yet that is her (relatively) eternal association. Since we spent more time at Arlington than we planned, we missed the last tour bus, but luckily a Metro stop was very conveniently located. A quick dinner at a brewpub near the hotel and another bath and then bed for me.

While I worked during the next couple of days, M prowled the Federal City and I confess to being jealous of the fun he was having while I toiled five levels below the street. He was too tired to sight-see with me the first evening of the conference, so I wandered out on my own. With no goal in mind, I ended up having an extremely pleasant visit to the nearly empty (but for the mouthy sullen tweens accompanying their exasperated parents as they tried to enjoy the botanical delights) Enid A. Haupt garden behind the Smithsonian Castle. The sculpture garden near the Hirshhorn was also sparsely populated. I'm not one much for modern outdoor sculpture, but I enjoyed it. I did appreciate overhearing one woman describing an artist's piece to her companion--the title referenced Iowa or Idaho and she pointed out how one part looked like a plow, another part a stalk of wheat…I think I would benefit from guides or tours for exhibits like that. I'm also not much of a Yoko Ono fan, but she had a "piece" there too--she asked for people to write wishes on small tags and then tie them to a low-growing tree. According to the literature, she'll gather up the tags later and create another piece with the results. It took me quite a while to come up with something, and as I was tying my wish to a branch, I noticed a tag that had fallen off--"Wish you were here"--my wish for M--so I tied that wish back on the tree. I wonder how many wishing for you's that tree dangles like paper icicles.

On the way back to the hotel, I paused on a side street to watch flock after flock of nondescript black birds descend on the row of trees lining the block. It started small, but built rhythmically, the chatter of the birds growing louder and louder, accompanying the darkening, thickening clouds of beaks, feathers, claws swooping in from afar in gravity defying choreography, a swift thunderhead transformed into a silent swarm winging down the street, then along a rooftop, slinging back along a building's bank of windows and finally separating to alight. One of the pleasures of being a country bumpkin is the ability to stop and gape without fear of ridicule; as I observed this ritual dumbfounded, a security guard strolled up and we began chatting. She said she'd been working there for nine years and the birds had been coming backing at the same time of day and time of year since she'd been there. She also brought me back to the prose of reality by letting me know that the building maintenance folks across the way had to power-wash the sidewalks every day during "bird season."

On our final day, we got going in enough time to take one last brief tour around the lower part of the Mall. After a quick breeze by the White House, through the American Craft Museum, and then the WWII Memorial, where I hope to spend more time one of these days, we went on to the Lincoln and Vietnam memorials. The latter is a very different experience from Arlington, though it serves a parallel purpose by naming the dead. We spent quite a bit of time there, looking for the name of the father of M's best friend--he was erroneously listed as KIA and his name is on the Wall, but he's not actually…dead. (Not surprisingly, this was apparently difficult news for him to digest. The listing on the Wall part, not they being alive part.) Since the reference books have been updated and corrected, we weren't able to locate his name, but it was a reason to really pause to absorb the many, too many, names etched in the black stone.

Though our flight home was uneventful, as we were landing, the pilot mentioned a fire in San Bruno, a community very near the airport on the way into SF proper. We didn't have any details about it in flight, but driving home we saw a terrible glow in the hills above the highway. We listened to the radio all the way home, and the gas line break, as we learned was the cause, seemed horrific--street asphalt boiling, fire spreading, heat radiating out like an oven along streets and whooshing down a canyon. A very sobering end to our trip.

We were home a day and a night, then drove up the coast to pick up the mutt. We had a great overnight with Mom. We admired the many stars we don't see here with all of the light pollution. We ate well, particularly of chocolate cake. We did not talk on the phone to anyone nor look at computers nor stare at any digital devices. OK, except for a little TV. What a relief! In addition to the much-missed mutt, I brought home some amazing tomatoes and more pleasant memories. It made it all the more difficult to return to the realities of work!

Some random thoughts/recollections:

The security fear/precautions in Washington has actually beautified the city in some ways--concrete barriers to buildings are disguised as planters and bloomed with strappy leaves and purple spiked flowers.

While I don't consider myself a very patriotic person in the rigid popular definition of the word, I felt like flags were my creative inspiration on this trip and I enjoyed photographing them. Not very original, I know.

This was a very nice trip gastronomically as well. In addition to Zaytinya and the good hotel restaurant, I dined at Proof and Michel Richard's Central. Even the meals at the conference were exceptional (for large scale meals). Good food always improves a journey, I find.

Though I wanted to just be spending time with M and not working while we were in Washington, the bright side of having him with me was being released from the constant missing of him that I normally experience while I'm away. Opening the hotel room door after a long day and finding him happily occupied watching TV and smiling up at me as I came though the door was one of the best sight-seeing experiences of my trip.

We had perfect weather throughout the trip. I had been worried that Hurricane Earl was going to delay our flight, but instead it scrubbed the humidity and heat away. I suspect that had something to do with M's several comments about how living in Washington would be pretty excellent.

Of Lone Stars and Longhorns

2010-08-31T21:25:00.001-07:00

It was a great trip to Texas. It already seems very far away! Impressions and memories:

We spent the days doing car trips to quaint little neighboring towns. The first stop was Luckenbach, which is not really a town anymore, more like a music venue. We sat under the oaks with other tourists, drinking beer and listening to an acoustic guitarist. He was a very talented guy, and I suspect used us tourists, immobilized by the heat, to hone his comedic chops and/or amuse himself. He sang a song about farts, another with the refrain "keep your hands of my willie" as in Willie Nelson records, and another knee-slapping tune that followed a virile rooster as he got after not only the barren hens, but the dry cow (resulting in eggnog), dog (begetting bird dogs), and the non-budding marijuana plants (with chicken pot pie as the offspring of that flora-fauna union).

We also toured Gruene (pronounced "green"), Fredricksburg, and Wild Seed, not a town but an incredible nursery/garden complex. The towns had a very frontier-feel to the buildings, which put me in mind a little of Virginia City. But these were much more alive in the present. We had a great time poking around in the shops and sampling the local fare. I imbibed some excellent beer and perhaps the best onion rings ever, which is saying quite a bit.

It was unfortunately too hot to sit outdoors and admire the stock at Wild Seed, but I bought a packet of wild flower seeds to sow in the backyard this fall. M is actually pretty excited about it too. Anything to alleviate the expanse of weeds, which we usually describe as our "butterfly garden."

We did get a little outdoor time visiting with another couple who live a little way out of town. They have a lovely spread, though it sounds like a bit of a battle with the elements--as M pointed out, it's unsettled territory. They have two dogs and five cats, so I was able to experience a little kitty-happiness. It did make me a little melancholy, putting me in mind a bit of Veronica…

One of the best parts of the trip for me was being able to unplug from my routine. I left the laptop at home and checked email and Facebook from my iPhone. I slept in til 9:00 a.m. Three days in a row! Incredible. I can't remember the last time I was able to do that. It was so utterly pleasant and relaxing to start and end the day quietly and gradually, drinking coffee in the morning and wine at night, chatting with Dad, Ginny, and Felicia, thinking about the adventure we'd had that day and the one to come.

True to the party lifestyle, however, my sleeping lead was completely blown by our last night, which we spent in Austin. The day started very well, slowly as aforementioned. On the way to Austin we stopped at the mall at San Marcos, truly one of the most outstanding malls ever. Felicia and I thoroughly investigated the Bare Escentuals store there. We dined at The Oasis, a large and quirky restaurant with an equally quirky staff, with a spectacular view of Lake Travis. After dinner we headed back into Austin proper and boarded a boat tour along the river. Our guide was a charming young lady, studying biology, which seemed to come in handy for her narrative as we floated under the Congress Street bridge and watched the bats come out for their dinner. Austin is a great place! I enjoyed hearing a little about its history on the tour. Felicia mentioned wanted to move there several times.

That normally would have been the end of the evening activities for me under normal circumstances, but this was vacation! We knew the newly-21 niece would want to party a bit, so we all girded our loins and headed down the street party that is Sixth Street. It was a Friday night, I think the one before college was to start the following week, so it was pretty crowded, mostly with the youthful, under-clad variety. We walked into the first bar we found with live music and no cover, found a place at the back and settled in for some surprisingly good music. The beer was cheap, we could feel the breath of air conditioning, and so stayed for the whole set. When that ended, we found the next bar with live music and no cover and hung out again for more surprisingly good tunes. Around 1:00 a.m., a time when I normally would have been asleep for several hours, I realized that I didn't really feel very tired at all and had an epiphany: Work seriously gets in the way of fun. So that was a most excellent experience all around, and Felicia didn't seem to mind having her auntie and grandparents along for her first go at bar hopping (or bar hobbling as my friend at work quipped).

The only down sides to my trip were the loud young folk outside our motel who kept me up very late that last night and the heat. I had forgotten how much I take our cool Sonoma County nights for granted. The outside world was never really moderately temperatured, and though I was able to just relax into it for the most part, there were a few dripping-with-sweat moments that made me feel a little socially uncomfortable. Overall, I do need to spend more time in Texas. Just not in the summer. This was also the most live music I've experienced in a long time, and I do need to keep that momentum going.

*****

M very kindly picked me up at SFO that Saturday evening. We drove into the City and over dinner at Il Cane Russo, he could no longer contain himself and shared that he had purchased a '97 Kawasaki Concourse, a large powerful motorcycle big enough for both of us large people. The "two" part was key to my support, which he was smart enough to realize. On Sunday morning we donned our leathers (I think I've worn my MC three times since moving from NY a dozen years ago, but now I'm glad I hung on to it) motored over to the Cycle Gear shop, and I picked out a new full-face helmet and gloves.

For our first ride together, we headed down to Petaluma for lunch, and after a little stress at the beginning, I relaxed and really enjoyed myself. M's been using it as his daily driver all week and has taken it on a few day trips since, so it was fairly smooth sailing out to Tomales Bay and another lunch on Sunday. He's looking for a backrest for me, and that will make a big difference in my comfort level.

*****

Last weekend was more small victories for lifting myself out of Ye Olde Rut. I splurged for a pedicure on Saturday, which turned out to be more of a splurge than planned since I got my first parking ticket! It was just a space-cadet moment, I fed the wrong parking meter. M has advised me to try write and try to get it expunged, which I will do. Later that afternoon, inspired by Ginny, I baked a pineapple upside-down cake for a friend's tiki-themed birthday party. I tried very hard to have a good time and engage in conversation rather than flee as is my first thought with social situations where I don't know anyone and there is no central activity. And I think I succeeded fairly well. I need more practice!

(I also practiced my sociability in SFO, flying out to Texas. I started up a conversation with a woman in the waiting area and we spent a lovely hour chatting about her son in NYC supporting a young woman who doesn’t want to work nor have children, and, one of my favorite topics, Indian food. She gave me her card as we parted ways and I think I'll send her a note. Perhaps we'll stay in touch.)

*****

I'm very eager for the weekend: M is coming with me to Washington, DC! We're doing the red-eye on Friday night, and so I'll have a free though probably groggy day to spend with him on Saturday and much of Sunday. He'll play while I work and we'll return Thursday afternoon. We often talked about him coming to conferences with me, but it's only happened once or twice in all the years I've had this job. So yay for more doing things differently!

Felicia in Austin

2010-08-27T08:32:00.001-07:00

Felicia in Austin
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

Yes, I'm working on a post. Thanks for your patience! In the meantime, please enjoy this shot of my delightful niece and the Austin skyline.

Off to Texas

2010-08-16T18:45:00.001-07:00

So I'm just about packed. I'm trying to really pare down my bag and I think of done a good job. So good that I'm now regretting paying the 23 freakin' dollars it costs to check a bag on most airlines these days, but I tweaked my back yesterday and the idea of dragging a bag around, hoisting it up into the overhead compartment, and then hoisting it down tomorrow just sort of made me ache in advance. I'm reducing more than I have in a while in one significant way: I'm not taking my laptop! So I can't check work email while I'm gone! This is a big step for me. I figured I can check on everything and clear out the spam on Sunday before I go into the office. And since I'm going to Texas in the summer, no need for any outer garments--that helps too.

A big part of this no-laptop decision is due to the fact that I am now the proud owner of an iPhone. Yes, it's a used device, handed down to me from my loving husband when he upgraded to the iPhone 4. And yes, I'm still as cheap as ever--it's not even a phone yet since I don't have a calling and data plan, so it's basically just a "Touchey" as my nephew calls it, though with one very crucial addition. A camera! That's a big deal to me. So I can upload photos to FB and Flickr sans computer. M was a little offended when I deleted a number of his news apps, but hey, it's mine now baby. My first app purchase was the ocarina app and I'm determined to learn how to play it, but I can already tell it's going to take some practice. Like any instrument, eh? I was thinking I'd download some podcasts to listen to on the plane, but I think I'll just stick to a regular ol' book. A friend has loaned me a mystery, and I'm quite enjoying it.

Another part of the paring down motivation: I read a New York Times article recently about people who are trying hard to live with fewer possessions and instead focus on living within their means and have experiences rather than stuff. For the most part we do live within our means, but--sometimes stuff is part of the experience. One couple, who were determined to maintain just 100 items each, only had two pans and three pairs of shoes (does that count as six items or three, I wonder?). But M and I love to cook together, so the idea of just two pans seems counter to the goal of creating experiences for us, but I guess that's all pretty subjective.

As it turns out, this has been a bad weekend to feel smug-ish about not consuming, which I sort of was, however unjustifiably. M brought our larger charcoal grill up to my mom's some time ago, so we've been using our teeny hibachi for our barbequed dinners. Which means we often have to grill the various items in stages, and I just couldn't take it any more, so we went to our local home improvement store and bought a new kettle Weber. A slightly more deluxe model, which captures the ash in a safer way, which is very important, right, when you cook on a redwood deck near a cedar fence? And on the way home from that purchase, of course M wanted something tasty to experiment with on the grill, so we stopped at Costco to get a rack of ribs and they happened to have a sound bar that was very affordable, something we had on our wish list for some time. I will say that this is the first Costco sojourn in some time where we didn't need a basket. And then today, while I successfully resisted the purchase of a smaller suitcase with the all-directional wheels, I fell prey to the siren song of cute little black Sketchers, another item I'd been wanting for a while. They're kind of a cross between sneakers and loafers, perfect for travelling. So there it is.

It's been a great first day of vacation. I slept in! I watched most of Master and Commander for like, the fourth time. I washed about four loads of laundry and was once again reminded of how many household chores I'd get done if only I didn't have to go to pesky work, but again, there it is.

And now, time to continue on that path: walk the dog, fix dinner, enjoy the sound bar.

2,000 Words

2010-08-10T19:51:00.001-07:00

Photos that should have accompanied yesterday's post.

Eight Nine Ten

2010-08-09T21:02:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've been at such a loss for words. For so long. Is it because I'm knitting? Summer ennui? Summer that is shuffling softly into fall, escorted by the honking of geese that seem to pass south at exactly 9:50 every morning. People are complaining about our cool summer and the morning fog. I'm not complaining. I think it's great. But every day starts out darker and damper and with less of the usual summer verve. So yeah. Maybe that's it.

But I'm at a Starbucks in Petaluma with the other Pointy Pals, so I'm compelled to at least pen a post if nothing else, so here goes.

A week ago Saturday, M and I attended our first political fundraiser. The dean of his law school is running for judge, so combined his 50th birthday party with a request for donations. It was very interesting, going to the candidate's 1950s suburban home (located in our dream neighborhood--O ranch house, how could I ever have scorned thee in my youth?), hearing people get up to speak and flat out ask for money in a such a jolly setting. It is a bit of a shame that judges even have to run. But the speakers were good and not too long and there was a country-western band made up of other judges, which was also entertaining. I'm still in the habit of thinking that 50-year-olds are quite a bit older than me, and of course that's simply not the case anymore. I had a very pleasant chat with a woman at my table, who couldn't remember momentarily if she had just been at her 30th or 40th high school reunion. She seemed a little older to me, so I reinforced the 40th thought. And then--of course--she mentioned that she graduated the same year I did. I'm having a hard time getting used to the middle aged thing, I confess, and recognizing "older" people as actually being my contemporaries. But, as with all other ages, this is the youngest I'm ever going to be, so I should enjoy it while I can and not brood too much about getting older if I can help it.

Last weekend was pleasant and quiet. I went to a clothing swap on Saturday and brought back about as much as I contributed, which is contrary to my clothing swap tenets, but I'm happy with my "new" duds. (When I sat down this evening, Rebecca recognized my shirt, which was awfully close to a shirt I had brought, so we suspect we did a mutual swap which is always a pleasant realization.)

On the way to the swap, I stopped off to have a mug of tea and a chat with friends. I was, like, totally visiting! That never happens! I was very proud of myself. On the way home from the swap I stopped at a yarn store and dropped $50 on yarn for a shrug for myself. I have observed that I often cheap-out on yarn for my projects and end up with sub-par objects as a result, so I've resolved to try to break this habit. However, I'm nervous I'm not going to like it once it's done and will have spent much more on a sweater than I ever would have a Ross, not to mention the time involved and the ruining of the lovely gray superwash wool, but there it is. Nothing ventured and all that.

More visiting ensued on Sunday. I spent more than an hour on the phone with a friend, just catching up. Then as M and I were doing some chores, my brother-in-law came by to drop off some vegetables grown by brother Jay. I realized I hadn't bought tomatoes yet this season, and it was a joy eating them yesterday and today and sharing a few with friends at work. I think I'm spoiled for the home grown ones.

Time to head for husband and home.

Back to the Fair

2010-08-05T09:01:00.001-07:00

Fair filmstrip
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

I left work a couple of hours early yesterday to meet M at the Fair. Our goals were to bet on the horse races, see the rest of the exhibits, and take in the hair-tacular double bill of Foghat and Blue Oyster Cult. Unfortunately, we lost on the ponies and there just wasn't enough there there to keep us occupied until the concert, so we wandered home and listened from the comfort of our bedroom--the acoustics weren't good, but it sounded like everyone was having a rockin' good time. In fact, we both regretted not staying for the music. We realized we should have planned to just go to the concert yesterday. It was nice to go on a weekday--the Fair was busy, but not crowded.

A Happy Friday

2010-07-31T12:48:00.001-07:00

A Happy Friday
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

M and I went to the county fair last night, just on the spur of the moment. We ate fried food, wandered the Hall of Flowers and the Hall of Vendors (I got this close to signing up for a Napa condo hard sell in exchange for a cruise--I still might do it), listened to some music, and took a spin on the ferris wheel. We enjoyed snapping some pics with his new iPhone camera app that mimics the Hipstamatic (which I somehow missed in the '80s).

We'll go back to the fair on Wednesday--Foghat and Blue Oyster Cult are playing! M really wants to hear them. And we need to see the livestock, bet the ponies, check out the "sustainable Sonoma" geodesic domes, and of course eat more fried food. That brick of spiral-cut potatoes is haunting both of us even now.

Home and Portland Recap

2010-07-29T21:58:00.001-07:00

View from the Doubletree, Portland, OR July 2010
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

One of the hardest things for me about being back from a trip after the summer solstice is the change in light. Because I get up before sunup a couple of times a week to go to the gym, every moment of daylight counts. I can tell if it's just a scoche darker as I drive to the gym. Yet I squander it at the other end. I come home from work and putter inside and do chores and watch TV rather than sit on the deck and ponder the zippy comings and goings of hummingbirds and the glow of sun on the oak tree in the back yard. And as the evening deepens, I wonder why I didn't spend even just a few more moments breathing deeply under the deep blue summer sky. Pardon me while I go gaze at the stars a bit. That was nice. It's funny hearing the cricket chirps mixed with the screams from the midway--the county fair has started up.

So. Portland was lovely, despite the long days and aching feet during the conference. Which was a solid success, thank goodness. The soaks in the tub most evenings helped keep my spirits up, and the general happy feeling of the conference attendees did too. High points included an informal lunch I organized for women attendees (I had to try very hard to be amused rather than annoyed when some took offense to being called "ladies" rather that "women"--lighten up, gals!) that seemed to go over well--trying to up the diversity of our speakers is one of my job duties. One participant said she had met me at another event earlier in the year and had submitted a proposal to speak at the conference in Portland in part because of my encouragement, and it was accepted--that made me feel so good, like I had made a little bit of a difference. And I actually made a bit of progress myself on a similar front--I had set speaking in public as one of my personal goals for the year, and I did! Well, sort of. It wasn't planned (which was probably a good thing, I couldn't get nervous) and I had two other people onstage with me who were really the focus of the presentation so it ended up being a low-key stage experience, which was exactly what I needed. I haven't actually watched the video of the presentation myself yet. Mom said I did a pretty good job, but I'm skeptical. The main thing is that I did it, right?

I consumed a number of very delightful meals while fulfilling my professional duties. I stopped for Walla Walla onion rings at BurgerVille on my way to convention center on the first day. I consumed fried goat cheese and local beer at the Farm Café with a group of colleagues. With my fellow managers, I slurped edamame and Japanese noodles at Yuki. After a somewhat disappointing trip to Knit Purl and a brief wander on the west side of the Willamette, I tucked into a solo dinner and a delightful pinot noir from McKinley at the bar at Clyde Common, which a friend had recommended months ago and I just sort of crossed its path in a way that seemed Meant to Be. Am I food obsessed? Well, I do have to keep up my strength.

Luckily, I'm part of a family of foodies. Uncle Lloyd picked me up on Friday afternoon and after swooping up Aunt Jacque, Jim, and Enid, we headed out to the Kennedy School, one of the McMenamin Brothers' many arty and delightful establishments. Lloyd caught me up on the latest family tree discoveries, and Heather and the Jones clan joined us much later that evening. The next morning we breakfasted at Bread and Ink then did a great deal of chatting and catching up during the day. Michelle brought the boys over in the afternoon and she, Heather, Alyssa, and I drove out to Edgefield, a former work farm and nursing home, another pleasant McMenamin Brothers establishment. We wandered in the garden and had refreshments, marveling at the bridal parties drooping somewhat in the heat. We enjoyed more conversation and a great dinner grilled by Forrest and Lloyd.

I had just enough time for crepes for breakfast in the morning before catching a flight back to Santa Rosa. What a difference it makes not to have that long drive back from OAK or SFO! M took me out to lunch to one of our favorite new spots, Jackson Grill, on the way home. It was so relaxing to be eating rather than driving. And it was just good to be home again, lovely as the trip was. I did have one PDX disappointment: I finally purchased my very own bag of Stumptown coffee (it was like going into a wine tasting room, discussing what kind I should buy) and I didn't like it! I gave it several chances. Luckily, one of my co-workers also bought some, but French Roast, so I swapped her with my Holler Mountain this afternoon. I'm pretty sure I'll like it better.

It's been tough keeping my energy up at work this week. I think I'm still a little burnt out from my travels. I did take Monday afternoon off to meet up with niece Felicia in honor of her 21st birthday. We had lunch and it was nice spending a little time with her, Denise, and Mike. I'm looking forward to hearing about her birthday exploits in Las Vegas. I'm also looking forward to some sleeping in this weekend! Maybe even napping in the sun one afternoon. I keep telling myself I'm going to do it, that it's really not frivolous at all, but I haven't actually done it yet this summer.

What I Did Yesterday

2010-07-23T08:26:00.001-07:00

OSCON Exhibit Hall
Originally uploaded by O'Reilly Conferences

This photo is of me talking to one of my favorite conference speakers. He was one of the first people I met when I started doing conferences and has always been very kind to me.

Sorry for the blog silence. I've got a lot on my mind lately, but haven't been coherent enough to post anything. I have several views of hotel rooms to show you, but forgot my camera cable so you'll just have to wait til I'm back home from Portland on Sunday to see them.

It's been a long week, but I'm very much looking forward spending the weekend with northwest family, starting in about six hours!

Fourth of July Beach Photos

2010-07-08T21:00:00.001-07:00

Beautiful beach day
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

The great weather continued last weekend. But now we're back to foggy mornings--my office is so gloomy, but the memories are bright!

Happy Fourth from the North Coast

2010-07-04T11:35:00.001-07:00

Pt Arena on the Fourth
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

It's an unusually gorgeous day in downtown Point Arena. Barely a breath of breeze, no trace of fog, the sun is practically beating down as the parade gathers in the high school parking lot, preparing to wend its way down the Main Street hill at high noon. I'm wearing my disco ball flipflops and no sweater, regretting leaving my hat in the trunk, that's how lovely it is. I'm in a newly opened cafe, very un-Point Arena like, all slate and cork floors and dark-walled hang out space, watching the town assemble for the festivities, squinting at new patrons to see if I went to high school with any of them. Art cars and be-bandana'd dogs and herds of jeeps and Harley riders are passing in front of the cafe windows, my private movie. I came here thinking I would get some work done, but seems a shame to waste such a good vibe on work. I just ordered a lemon blueberry crepe. A crepe for FSM's sake!

Friday was a good day. Another afternoon of leaving work a little early. I bought frames for the "old timey" photos from Virginia City, two Sookie Stackhouse books and another on drawing (the Betty Edwards classic), and deep blue velvet curtains for the bedroom. M has convinced me that we sleep better in the dark. While I was in Bed Bath and Beyond, I handed over two of my coupons to a fellow shopper who wanted a set of drapes that she said were too pricey, and that made me unusually happy. I treated myself to an order of fries at Mickey D's on the way home and was handed a free cup of mocha ice cream also, just cuz (and as we all know, french fries and ice cream are two thirds of a perfect meal). Instant karma, perhaps?

Yesterday I picked up a quarter of a cow for mom from an old school butcher and pasta-making outfit. The so-called (in Sonoma County anyway) king of pasta himself, Art Ibleto, waited on me. 85 if he's a day, still thick with Italian accent and memories. We talked ice cream and he told me about the times he would steal milk from his mother's cow and take it to his friend's house, the one with the ice cream machine, and after it was ready he'd gather 'round the bucket with his buddies, spoons in hand and finish it all in one sitting. One friend in particular would wait until it was almost gone, then dip his arm in the bucket and run his hand in the seam at the bottom, scooping up the last bits and then taking off with a fist full of ice cream. He has too many friends, he says, and they all want a plate of free pasta when he sets up at the Wednesday Night Market downtown. He's having a hard time seeing, so I helped him find the ticket, and then accompanied him to the freezer to identify the two crates of white paper wrapped meat.

Well, I'm about done with my crepes and it's just about time to take my place on the parade route. Later today: coleslaw making and a walk on the beach and more lounging with family. Ah.

Of War and Love

2010-06-26T09:40:00.001-07:00

View from the Hyatt, Santa Clara, CA June 2010
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

I'm back from Santa Clara. It was an extremely successful conference, I'm relieved and pleased to report. We sold out and the attendees were all very satisfied. This doesn't happen very often. I did not have the energy to get to my favorite Indian restaurant while there, but I'm sure my impending trip to Dosa was a factor. I did however manage a shopping excursion with one of my work friends to a mall that has an amazing amount of shops. Who buys all this crap? Wait, I do…One blast from the past--there was a Betsey Johnson store there and it put me in mind of my New York days. She had a seconds rack I used to haunt and was able to afford, my only designer duds while living in that fashion conscious city. I think I still have one of her outfits, though there's no way I'd be able to fit into it these days.

*****

There's a big event happening at our offices this weekend (Foo Camp for all you geeks). People bring sleeping bags and camp in our buildings, so they wall off part of our space so the party-ers can't help themselves to our office chairs and supplies and leave empty vodka bottles in their place. I didn't want to be barricaded inside the office all weekend so I left work early yesterday.

It was lovely being set loose on a workday afternoon in summer. I had some errands to run in downtown Sebastopol so parked and headed to the bank. There's a tradition in that little activist town that started several years ago: on Friday afternoons the Women in Black, women (and some men) opposed to the war, stand silently on the corners of the busiest intersection. They were soon joined by a group of hawks, much louder and in bright "patriotic" plumage. I don't know that they're necessarily pro-war--their message seems to mostly be "support the troops." But don't they want to live in a world where their loved ones don't have to be put in harms way?

When I got to that intersection on my way to the bank, it made me uncomfortable. The WiB were not on the corners for some reason yesterday, so as I waited for the walk signal, I was standing only with the hawks, a group I don't want to be associated with. It's hard for me to be around people expressing what I think is a sad and extreme view so vocally. I glanced over to a woman shaking her oversized cardboard flag-ribbon sign at the traffic. Over her shoulder, I could see that she had taped a small portrait to the back of her placard, of a smiling young woman in a floppy-brimmed fatigue hat. That really made me sad. I appreciate those with military service, but we seem so far away from a time when we won't have to employ armed conflict as a political tactic. My wish for that young woman is for her to be smiling up at her professors or across the counter at her clients, not hiding her fear of being blown up.

*****

Yesterday, our actual anniversary, we didn't do much to celebrate. M had to work a full day. We had dinner at one of M's favorite diners that's started serving dinner and then watched a couple episodes of True Blood while eating trendy cupcakes and locally made ice cream made with strawberries picked just a little ways down the road. I've never paid nearly $10 for a pint of ice cream before. Had to cool my payday fever I guess.

We're off to the City today. We'll have lunch at the de Young Museum then take in the exhibit, followed by dinner at Dosa on our way out of town. A very similar celebration to last year's anniversary. I'm hoping Dosa will live up to my memory of it. I've decided that I don't want to eat at Barndiva again, that swanky and perfect place M and I dined in recently. It was very expensive and I have such high expectations--I'd hate to be let down, which is the only place to go (aren't I an optimist this morning?) and pay that much again.

*****

In other news, M is going back to teaching a two evenings a week. He was so popular and it's something he enjoys doing, so I'm glad for that--and the extra money. Classes are in five-week blocks, so he may just alternate blocks so as not to burn out. So I'll now have quite a few weeknight hours to myself. Maybe it's time to take up writing that novel again.

In Action

2010-06-24T14:53:00.001-07:00

T-Shirts
Originally uploaded by O'Reilly Conferences

In case you ever what I do at the conferences I go to.

Almost Solstice

2010-06-20T22:22:00.000-07:00

So I'm finally sitting down and blogging, yay!

It's Sunday, the second longest day of the year. I love the light and long days. It makes spending long hours in the office easier, coming out to a few hours of sunshine. I know winter makes me appreciate this time of year more, but still, I wish the daylight hours dallied a bit more.

On to catching up before the weekend slips below the horizon…

Mom's Birthday in Tahoe
Four days with family, walking to places where snow still lingered, cooking with my brothers--one of my favorite activities--seeing beautiful vistas, sleeping. So many things adding up to a wonderful vacation. The house where we stayed was up on the slopes away from the busy lakeside roadway, a lovely quiet place with a view of the mountains to the south from the deck, perfect for morning and evening walks.

The first full day there, many of us converged on Emerald Bay and walked down to Vikingsholm, a scenic and strenuous-ish trip. M's mom met us there and we went into South Lake for lunch. We played Texas Hold 'em after dinner as we did most evenings.

The next day, M and I took nephew Ryan over the very scenic mountain pass to Virginia City, a well preserved silver boom-town now bust but for tourists, docents wandering about in period costume, some barely distinguishable from the bikers stomping the boardwalks in their interpretation of a cowboy's vests, chaps, and bandannas. We met M's mom again at the Bucket of Blood saloon, did the requisite sepia-toned portrait, boarded the train for a trip to Gold Hill, and peeked into shops now filled with goods for tourists rather than gold seekers. The town had done a good job preserving the storefronts and some interiors, which I appreciated.

The last full day there--Mom's actual birthday--was the mellowest. We walked to the top of the loop in our neighborhood, contemplated the slope. We heard a dog bark, then saw the source--two dogs running down one of the last swaths of snow, followed by a skier S-ing down the slope. More food and hanging out and TV and card-playing and photos and reading. It was hard to leave the next morning and head back to reality.

Veronica
My feline companion has been buried beneath a dollop of obsidian for 13 days now. After a week of doing much better on her hyperthyroid medication, she started acting very strangely a couple of Saturdays ago--delirious almost, physically unstable, standing for long periods of time with her head butted up against a wall, crawling under the sofa and behind the file cabinet. We took her to the vet who remarked her strange behavior, but her blood work showed everything to be in order. Perhaps it was a brain tumor. Perhaps feline senility. Perhaps the meds were finally letting what was wrong with her show. But nothing to be done. We wondered: would she be able to eat? Find her litter box? We were in despair, worried that she was in pain, thinking of how to deal with this for any length of time. I came home after work the next day and after a bit of searching finally found her curled in the back of one of my closets, behind a box where I keep my journals and other archival stuff. A fitting place for memories. I pulled out the box and her stomach kept the right angle of the corner where she rested and knew she was gone. I called M and he immediately came home. I felt bad about my squeamishness over her mortal coil, but he was so good of course, letting my cry while he placed her in a pretty pillowcase and dug a hole under the oak tree as far from Pookie and Tom Cat as possible, respecting their animosity even in death. While it's nice not having that litter box smell crowding our atmosphere nor having to book the cat sitter for our travels, it's…alien…not to have a cat around, for the first time in two decades. I still glance guiltily into the craft room regularly. She was a gift to keep me from loneliness and I worry that I left her lonely after all, unable to give her the attention she couldn't demand for herself in the end. I'm glad that she's not suffering but I also miss her, even her plaintive meow.

*****

Of Work, Worth, and "Retirement" (the post I was working on weeks ago…)

A longtime friend and I were talking of late. Mostly via phone, and several times in the last couple of weeks, trying to plan activities together which is unusual for me (the many phone calls part). And I confess that despite our long history of association, she's left me frustrated and…angry. I'm not supposed to feel that way about friends, I know! But in our conversations she kept on about how busy she was, therefore how difficult it was to make the time to get together. Which just made me think that a) I'm at the bottom of her priority list--we all have the same amount of time, right, so if she's doing so many other things, they're all more important and/or b) everything that she's got going on trumps all of my activities. She recently did find time to get together, and that was very nice. Til the end of our visit, when she observed that, "not having kids must be what it's like being retired." Right. And she quickly followed up with "though you do work full time." I know that having kids is very time consuming and 24/7 in a way that the vast majority of jobs, including mine no matter how much I complain and no matter whether or not I'm the breadwinner, simply are not. But talk about a body-blow to any self-esteem I have about how I spend my time. Sigh. Something to work on I suppose.

*****

On a happy note, it's been a stellar weekend. M and I took a beginning drawing class together yesterday, which was very pleasant. We both felt like we learned something and are inspired to learn more. I also appreciated the guidance on trying to observe things as they are, not how I "know" them to be, and how they relate to objects around them. In the evening, we met up with friends and finally made it out to a roller derby bout, watching the North Bay Bruisers trounce the Southern Oregon Rollergirls. All fantasies I had of becoming a jammer evaporated after a minute or two, the time it took for the ladies in the pack to hit the track--again, and hard. The friends we were with just got engaged, and it was fun talking about weddings. I've spent much of the weekend recalling happy wedding memories that took place a mere four years and 51 weeks ago.

I just reserved tickets to see the Birth of Impressionism exhibit at the de Young (which our drawing teacher mentioned during class--maybe we'll have a new perspective on art) with M on Saturday for our formal anniversary celebration and he's on Dosa's website as I type, making dinner reservations for that evening. So much to look forward to!

And this is not related to anything other than my fondness for food, but has anyone else noticed the new trend in serving romaine salads: slicing the heads horizontally into cylinders and dressing the rounds? It's an interesting presentation.

Birthday clan

2010-06-15T22:14:00.001-07:00

Birthday clan
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

Yes, I'm behind on the posts. But in the meantime, I've uploaded photos from the Tahoe trip. 36 photos times a thousand words apiece...

Back from Washington (DC)

2010-05-30T09:27:00.001-07:00

I meant to blog from our nation's capital, but frankly, I just couldn't muster the energy. It ended up being a very good conference, as good as we'd hoped, which was a relief. But I also had events to go to every night, which meant that I just didn't have the cycles to do anything fun. At all. I stayed pretty much within a 5-block radius of the hotel. Didn't even get to the Mall--what a travesty! Well, OK, there were two incidents of pleasantness. One was a fine meal the day I landed at Central Michel Richard. We were seated next to the kitchen pass-through and watched the chefs putting finishing touches on very "structured" platings. The other was a step back into the time machine, set for 1976--drinks at the National Press Club with a work friend and a couple of very old school reporters, one of whom had been the Voice of America. It was fun relaxing on the naughahyde sofa and taking in the scene, generations of reporters hanging out and drinking (including our host, who sloshed down four pints of Guinness while we were there). I also did something I've never done before: I flew home the day the conference ended. That last day was a very long one (one that also started with one of my headaches, too) but it was a smooth flight, thank goodness. We actually landed a half-hour early, didn't have to wait long at baggage claim or for the shuttle to the parking garage, and naturally there was no traffic at 11:00 at night. It was great being back home. I did go into the office for most of the day on Friday, but I felt really ready to enjoy this long holiday weekend.

PA Gals, Marin Headlands
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

Which got off to a great start yesterday. I met the Point Arena pals at the Marin Headlands for a walk along the coastal trails. It was an incredible, spectacular day--clear and warm, even right on the ocean. We had a lot of gabbing to get out, which was very nice and continued over lunch at a restaurant in Sausalito. Since I had been too beat for a date night on Friday, M and I went up to Healdsburg yesterday evening for dinner. We had consulted the list of "best restaurants" I keep on the fridge before leaving and settled on Barndiva. It was definitely a splurge, but oh we had a long, wonderful, flawless meal. They were out of tables, so we sat at the bar, which we agreed is something we both enjoy, chatting with the personable barkeep and other patrons. We strolled around the square after dinner, feeling like tourists, dreaming over the house listing posted in the windows of real estate offices. He purchased Twain's "Roughing It" at the local bookstore, and I'm sure I'll be picking it once he's done since I've apparently lost all motivation to choose my own reading material.

In other news, I took Veronica to the vet last week. She's officially 20 years old now, and had started really showing her age--losing weight and becoming very unsteady. As it turns out, she has hyperthyroidism, so she wasn't able to process her calories properly, which is why she's been losing weight. We've been giving her half a pill every day, and the change has been remarkable! She's already gaining weight and is much more active. I did feel a bit like a bad kitty-mom--I had thought that she had lost the ability to retract her claws, but in fact, a couple had just become overgrown, one so severely that it curled around and pierced her foot pad. So she also came home with a bandaged paw that didn't help with her mobility and was pretty gross when combined with a few trips to the litter box. But that's all healed up now, and she looks as though she'll be around for another 20 years.

Today M and are continuing a Memorial Day weekend tradition today--house cleaning. We used to get the carpet shampooed during this weekend since odds are the weather is warm enough to dry them quickly and we had three days to move everything out and then back in again, but since we don't have any carpeting now, hooray!, we'll be doing a thorough cleaning of walls, floors, and other items that we tend to ignore regularly instead. That should set us up for a quiet day tomorrow.

I know that this is the holiday of remembrance, but right now I'm feeling very thankful for the wonderful life I have in a very beautiful part of the world.

Back from Chico

2010-05-16T17:18:00.001-07:00

With Grandma
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

It was a great couple of trips this week. I had a wonderful time with Grandma, as usual. We spent our time together chatting and reminiscing as we always do. I find her descriptions of her youth more and more fascinating the older I get--perhaps because technology is changing our lives more quickly now, and a non-digital life is just plain foreign these days and also something I'm really beginning to appreciate. I tried to be very good about spending money at as many different places as I could, though there's one less restaurant there now. The weather was wonderful. I got take-out at Doxie's Thursday evening and dined in my rented Corolla at the cemetery, watching the sun set over the headstones of Grandpa and other Axtells, Bauers, and Hadens. Wilbur was getting ready for Wild Goose Bill Days, which meant I got another gander at those enormous Old World oxen before leaving town Friday morning. I did miss my chance to have my photo taken with Miss Wilbur and her court, who were downtown the night before the big parade raising money for something or other.

Flying in and out of Santa Rosa is wonderful. It takes the better part of the day, but it's not taxing--no traffic long waits in airports. M collected me at the SR airport Friday late afternoon, and instead of heading right home, he took me out for a date night, a tradition we've let lapse a little. We drove out to Jenner and walked on Goat Rock beach, then had dinner at a not-bad place in Bodega Bay overlooking the water. Weather still gorgeous--it was a lovely drive through our beautiful county, down the spectacular coast and then through quaint Victorian towns (the church and school in the town of Bodega, where The Birds was filmed, were particularly striking, rising white against the deep blue sky) and oak-studded pastures with obviously contented bovine inhabitants to home.

(Photos from 1999 and 2010 date nights)

Saturday morning we got an earlier start for Chico than I thought we would, which was very nice. We got into town in time for lunch, which we ate in Hooker Oak park while watching boisterous boys from a church group splat each other with water balloons. We drove on to Upper Bidwell Park and sat by Chico Creek for a little bit before driving down to Ryan's school fair to rendezvous with Mom and Felicia, who were selling pottery.

Later we had a big dinner group, family and friends going out to a Benihana-style Japanese steak house, which was a lot of fun, followed by birthday cake back at Mark and Glori's. Note to self for next year: fifty candles make a great fire and a lot of smoke. We all thought of course how nice it would be--in theory of course--for Alyssa to give birth right then and there, since we'd all be there, but thankfully baby Sophia is holding off a bit longer.

A smaller group of us got together again for breakfast today, Mark's actual birthday, and that was also very nice to have more chances to visit, especially with Felicia who had to work last night so couldn't join us for dinner. Then another beautiful if slightly overcast drive home--reflecting a little bit of my Sunday blues perhaps.

One thing to be very thankful for, again: while at breakfast, M discovered that several of his classmates did not pass the Bar exam--again. That makes four tries for some. Things would be so different for us if he hadn't passed the first time. It's difficult to express how grateful I am for that.

*****

One other interesting part about A Moveable Feast--I'm finding it a little tedious what with all the name dropping (gotta wonder what Stein, Fitzgerald, and Pound all thought about Hemingway), but I am enjoying his descriptions of Paris, particularly the food and café life. Apparently fishing in the heart of the city was quite common. And he describes one incident where a goatherd and his dog drove a herd through the quiet streets at dawn, stopping at the homes of customers who would bring their own pots to the street, and the goatherd would choose a likely doe and milk her right then and there. What a fabulous delivery system.

*****

Busy week ahead, getting ready for the conference in Washington DC the following week. Memorial Day weekend looms like a mirage in the distance…

P.S.

2010-05-13T20:33:00.001-07:00

One thing I forgot to mention last post, and was reminded of as I watched "Master and Commander" this evening: While in Seattle, milling with the other human cattle for the connecting flight to Spokane, I noticed a small, thin young man also waiting to board the plane with a military type 'do. Earlier, I had seen a young woman with her blond hair wound in a bun in her crisp Navy whites eating pizza in the food court. I wondered how it could be that we "defend" our country with such fragile youth. I was one of the last to deplane, so witnessed a scene I seem to see every time I arrive in Spokane--the same young man embracing an equally young woman who was showering him with kisses while others clasped their hands and watched or filmed the touching scene. I overheard another young woman echoing my thoughts to a member of the welcoming party: "Even though I don’t even know you, I'm getting all choked up." I fervently hope that one day we'll never have to welcome our young people home from such unnecessary danger.

Greetings from Wilbur

2010-05-12T21:01:00.000-07:00

I write to you ensconced at the Willows Inn (nee the Settle Inn--how could they discard such a great name?), window open to the sunset and temperate breeze, the laughter of boisterous and brew-pounding young men on the rock crushing crew outside their rooms wafting in to accompany the TV shows I'm clicking through. Why is it that the crappier motels always have the better TV? Will it be Beetlejuice, Lord of the Rings, or QVC ce soir? (Speaking of the Lord of the Rings, have you seen the Leonard Nimoy/Bilbo Baggins video?)

I forgot to bring the cable to my camera, so for now you'll just have to imagine the lovely views I took in during my flights from Santa Rosa to Spokane: unusually green rolling green hills with vineyards flowing down to sparkling rivers giving way to majestic snow-topped volcanoes floating among low pompons of clouds, and finally the crazy quilt of wheat fields welcoming me to Washington. I know, it's all so trite, but really true even from the vantage of a plane. Sadly, there was not enough highway shoulder to stop and snap a pic of the sign that read "Litter and it will hurt" on Route 2, so that one you'll have to continue to imagine (blue background, white lettering).

I started reading Heminway's "A Moveable Feast" on the plane now that I've finally, sadly finished off the Richard Sharpe series I've been reading for what, the last year. I appreciated this advice that he gave to himself when he needed to start work on a new writing project: "Do not worry. You have always written before and you will write now. All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence you know." If you wonder, like me, how he started the novel, it's: "Then there was the bad weather." When all else fails, there's always the weather. It's always true.

I saw Grandma briefly tonight (she's doing great!) then headed to The Alibi for dinner. It wasn't very crowded, so I couldn't help but overhear the disbelieving whispering between cook and barkeep over my request to leave the chicken out of the chicken alfredo. Maybe it was the antique bar and their banter, but I also couldn't help but thinking that those two women would've done a great job running the place 100 years ago. I learned that pints here are called "pounders" and the smaller glasses are "schooners." However, that would've been scandalous for me to know about a century ago, eh? Wild Goose Bill Days start this weekend, and though I'll be departing before the main festivities get underway, there is apparently a "moonlight madness" sale tomorrow evening that I'll be able to partake in.

Looking forward to a good night's sleep (I just jinxed it, didn't I? I can sense those 18 wheelers and their jake brakes coming to get me now) and more visiting with Grandma tomorrow.

Happy Mothers Day

2010-05-09T13:02:00.001-07:00

I'm back at the Applebox for a writing/gabbing date with the Pointy Pals. It's another overcast day, which is odd for May, but makes it easier to be inside. I brought both of the poetry books I bought at the reading last week with me. I need to get more poetry back in my life. I'm feeling very blank right now, so hoping that I'll be able to take Billy's advice that blank times are the best for writing; perhaps my annual poem might make its appearance today. It's been a year since my last one, which I still haven't finished editing. On the bright side, I want to edit it still--I think it has a lot of potential, and that makes me happy. There's a fair amount of dross, but I don't think it's one of the 300 bad ones Billy Collins thinks that poets have to get out before the good ones come. The other thing I like about the poem has come with the passage of time: it has an Easter-ish/renewal theme since that's when I wrote it. A friend makes an appearance and in the poem--I imagine him letting go and finding love--and he just got engaged! It's going to be hard to edit that part wisely, not let knowing what I know now interfere with the moment it was trying to embody. We'll see how I do.

Here's one of Kay Ryan's poems:

Hide and Seek
It's hard not
to jump out
instead of
waiting to be
found. It's
hard to be
alone so long
and then hear
someone's come
around. It's
like some form
of skin's developed
in the air
that, rather
than have torn,
you tear.

*****

Early morning view from the Intercontinental, SF, May 2010
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

I spent Monday through Thursday at a conference in San Francisco. It didn't seem as draining a show as it usually is, maybe because my stay was a day shorter than it has been in the past and I only attended two evening social events rather than the usual three or four. I stayed in a new hotel, and though my room was most pleasant (nothing quite like having the toilet adjacent to a floor to ceiling window) I just didn't sleep well. One thing was very nice: When I left home, the roses were just beginning to open. When I pulled into the driveway four days later, they were ablaze with color. The pink Victorian Spice is particularly abundant this year. I have my two largest vases filled with flowers, and the living room is quite odiferous, as M might say.

*****

I'm looking forward to my travels this month. I'm off to Washington state to see Grandma next week, then Washington DC at the end of the month for another show. I had been toying with the idea of spending more time on the East coast, but I'm gone so much this month, I ended up booking a flight back the evening the show ends, something I've never done before. That's going to be a long day, but I know I'll be glad to wake up at home rather than spending the whole next day in transit. And then there are those birthdays this month--brother turns the big five-oh, and Sophia will be just plain oh, so there may be more festive journeys around those milestones.

I need to start knitting again. The purple baby dress isn't getting any larger, while the baby it's intended for is…

Another Recap

2010-05-01T09:28:00.001-07:00

View from the Heavenly Observation Deck
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

It's a perfect Saturday morning. The sun isn't quite up over the hill and the greens of trees and grass are beginning to glow. I'm up early. I couldn't get back to sleep for thinking about work stuff, so I figured I'd try blogging as a way of clearing my mind. I continue to miss blogging more often. Nancy has stepped up her pace, which has been very inspiring. I'll try to follow her example.

Work was (hm, I just typo'd "war" instead of "was"--"work war" sounds about right) particularly hard this week. We've had some personnel changes and that has been difficult and sad for me to deal with. I'm hoping it will get better soon, but we have four conferences in the next seven weeks, including one next week in San Francisco, so there's going to be a lot of shoulders to the wheel for a while. So anyway, this post is not supposed to be about work, isn't it?

Our trip to Tahoe last weekend was just wonderful. I took both Thursday and Friday off, and actually managed to not check email once! It was a lovely change of scenery of the mind as well as geography. It was M's idea to go to Tahoe in the first place. I was set for some coastal-ish area, and I'm really glad we did the mountains. Thinner air! Snow! We stayed on the south shore, in a motel close to the state line, the lake shore, and Heavenly ski resort. Part of the vacation was not having an agenda--we had a couple of activity and restaurant recommendations, but I made a particular effort not to plan anything. And not to feel like we had to stick to some sort of schedule, which meant that we didn't rush to leave the motel room in the morning which felt a bit like we were squandering our limited time there--but that's part of vacation, isn't it?

We got there Friday late afternoon. The weather was much warmer than I had anticipated, which was nice. Our motel room was not fancy, but had two rooms, one with a gas fireplace and kitchenette, and both with enormous TVs. After a stroll to Heavenly Village (a mall, really) to check out the gondola (closed for the evening) and stock up on snacks for the kitchenette, we hied ourselves to the lake and sit by the shore (which was all fenced off--luckily the gate was open) and watch the sunset. Then we drove around looking for a place to eat. It seemed like fate when we encountered one of the restaurants that had been recommended and was in the same place as the paddle boat tour we were thinking of trying. We were too late to buy tour tickets and had to endure the first of several timeshare pitches, but we did get some good info before dinner, which was tasty if a little overpriced and in a noisy space. We had an angry-silence couple at the next table, which made us grateful for our own happiness. I also was complimented by the waitress on how much of the pasta dish I consumed--apparently not many women eat as much as I do. Good to know.

I started Saturday with a soak in the tub, something I don't do at home. We ventured out late in the morning, picking up sandwiches to take with us on the Heavenly gondola trip. There's an observation deck below the main summit and we spent a leisurely bit of time there, having lunch, huddled against the chill and admiring the amazing view. Up at the summit, the slopes were quite active. We wandered around watching the lift scoop up skiers and snow boarders, and the kids tubing and ski-biking down one of the gentle slopes. We thought about trying the ski bikes, but it was so expensive and was for two hours--I didn't think I could last that long, and there was only one little course to traverse. So we headed back down on the gondola, our romantic ride spoiled by a skier who jumped in our car at the last minute. Ah well.

Down from the mountain, we walked a couple of blocks to the casino that was sited just a few feet east of the state line. M played a bit of slots then stationed himself at the $5 craps table. The smoke bothered me, so I wandered through a few of the shops then found a less smoky bar and dropped my usual $20 playing video poker and nursing a Bud. I finally couldn't take the smoke but I didn't want to interrupt the fortune mojo since M was still at the craps table, so I snuck out and went back to the motel for a lie-down and shower before the paddle boat dinner cruise. Happily, he did indeed win $150! That was nice.

We cut it a little close, but made it to the dock at Zephyr Cove to board the MS Dixie just before it headed out across Lake Tahoe. The top deck was pretty full at first, but out on the water the wind blew pretty chill, and most people took shelter below decks. We toughed it out til we were called for dinner service, and were seated at a window table which was nice. We reached Emerald Bay just as the sun was leaving its last light, giving us a fine view of Vikingsholm. It was dark on the way back across the lake and the room where the cover band played was overly crowded, so we were quite ready to debark at the end of the cruise.

I had a sort of dreamy-nightmare night. I woke up around 3am to a low roaring sound and couldn't get back to sleep. I took a book to the other room, and found we had left the fire on full blast. It felt like 100 degrees and the roar was the fan that was probably trying to keep the fireplace from exploding. I turned off the fire and started reading but the fan kept on and on…just as I was convinced that I had somehow arrived in hell, the fan shut off and as the room cooled I was able to get back to sleep in a sweet silence. For better or for worse, sleeping a lot is one of my favorite parts of vacation.

We took our time checking out and stopped for disappointing waffles on the way out of town. It was such a quick trip--I'm glad we're going back in June. I liked the vibe there in Tahoe, though it was tourist-y. I can't imagine how it must be at high season with skiers swarming everywhere. It was fun seeing people clad in their festive ski attire, hauling skis and boards and poles on the streets and in the shops, passes dangling from necks and pockets. Like our trip to Hoover Dam over Christmas I noticed a lot of Indian/South Asian tourists. Why don't they seem to come to Santa Rosa? (I know there's Spanglish and Franglais--is there a word for Indian-English? Hinglish or Benglish maybe? I should know that.)

M's knee bothered him a bit during the trip and it still pains him, but he's definitely on the mend. We got the bill for our portion of his ambulance ride--that was an unpleasant surprise. And some people think there's nothing wrong with our health care system!

On Thursday, I went with my writers group to hear poets laureate Billy Collins and Kay Ryan read. They were so funny and thoughtful, bantering with each other throughout the evening. It was refreshing to attend an event that was intellectual and literary yet also lighthearted. I have a newfound appreciation of Kay Ryan's poetry. During the Q&A at the end of the evening, one audience member asked if they ever have blank times or writers blocks. Billy's (we're on a first name basis) response was that being blank or empty was actually the best time to write--you don't have any preconceived notions about the poem or where it's going. That was very inspiring for me. Another person asked about the state of poetry today--should we be worried that it's not very popular? Kay (my buddy) replied, and Billy agreed: Who cares? TV is popular and that's nothing to recommend it. Let it be appreciated by those who enjoy it. It's better as a small community anyway.

M and I are going to rendezvous with Mom in Boonville today to pick up the dog, so time to get ready for that. It's been a nice break from his intense gaze and pervasive shedding, but I've missed the little mutt terribly and look forward to curling up with him tonight.

Off to Tahoe

2010-04-23T08:15:00.001-07:00

Paternal relations
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

So I had a fun time last weekend at the shower for baby Sophia, but it went by too fast. I miss my brothers and their families very much.

Work continues to be stressful but I took yesterday and today off to hopefully tame that stress a bit. I see that I already have 639 unread email messages, and all of Friday lies ahead, argh. But...that will just have to wait. I had a lovely time relaxing and puttering and meeting M for lunch yesterday and want to replicate that for the next three days.

I guess there's still snow in Tahoe so I'm a little nervous about driving. The speedometer in the Monster Mobile is misbehaving, adding to the week's stress. I mentioned to one of our regular fellow-dog walkers yesterday that I was going to Tahoe, and his advice was to be sure to fill up the tank with gas as soon as I arrived, so that if we lost all of our money gambling we'd be able to get home. I think he still dwells in the pre-credit card mindset. But that might make for a good story, wouldn't it?

Away for the Night

2010-04-13T22:39:00.001-07:00

View from the Hyatt Santa Clara April 2010
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

I write to you from Santa Clara, bad TV and Silicon Valley traffic noise in the background, the stressful week and pleasant weekend activities fading into the past. But before it goes:

M had knee surgery on Tuesday. It went well--as well as surgery can go--and thank goodness he's now on the road to recovery. It's a bit like sleeping with Frankenstein, between the cpap machine and the little cooler-like contraption that circulates ice water to a wrap around his knee. I took part of the day off on Friday and we met with the surgeon for a follow-up. We were treated to photos of the inside of his knee joint. Eew. We went out to dinner on Saturday and afterwards took a stroll around the block to the cupcake shoppe for dessert and thence to peruse the stacks in the used bookstore, and that pretty much wiped him out. But, he's getting stronger, slowly spending more time back at the office.

On Saturday I abandoned my invalid to spend much of the day with a dear friend, her daughter and niece, wandering the radiant Cartier exhibit at the Palace of the Legion of Honor. There was SO much jewelry on display, case after case, a bling binge--decades of diamonds designed for duchesses, sparkling stomachers, glittering gilded 'gator necklaces done for a Mexican actress, Grace Kelly's 10 carat engagement ring. I didn't realize that it was Cartier who pioneered the use of platinum rather than silver and that apparently the practice of American heiresses snagging titled British husbands was pretty common, not just fiction from Edith Wharton. Thank goodness there are museums to pass on this kind of learning.

It somehow ended up being a very spendy weekend. I think I've been pretty good about reining in the spending lately, but fell off the wagon. I was interrupted from an email reverie on Friday by two young men ostensibly selling magazines, ostensibly for an educational trip to Germany and they managed to finagle $40 out of my wallet. They really had an impressive sales spiel. I somehow found myself at Ross later that afternoon and clothing somehow ended up in a shopping bag that belonged to me. On Saturday, it wasn't just the trip down to the City that I spent hard-earned ducats on--in a fit of magnanimity, I became a member of the Legion of Honor, and of course there was the audio tour and lunch in the gourmet museum restaurant. And on the way home, I stopped at a high-end mall to finally buy one nice small area rug at Pottery Barn but shopping bags branded Williams Sonoma and Anthropologie also managed to hang from my arm like bracelets as I headed back out to the parking lot.

Time to call the husband and curl up (sadly) mutt-free under the covers. Glad to be going home tomorrow.

Rainy Easter

2010-04-04T16:56:00.001-07:00

Owie knee
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

Just got back from walking the dog in the deluge. It was fun being out in such a downpour--for the first three minutes. We were both grateful for the activity, however brief and chilly. And Rex smells better for it. It's been a pretty cozy but sedentary weekend. The most notable thing from yesterday was a great blue heron that warily followed Rex and me on our walk. A striking feathered beast, almost four feet tall--I think it was curious about us too. Rex finally couldn't take it anymore and half-heartedly charged it, forcing it to flap up and glide away just far enough that Rex couldn't follow. It wasn't there today, unfortunately.

M's knee injury is the big news around these parts. He overdid it at they gym last week and hurt his "good" knee--he had to be carried out by an ambulance crew it was so painful. He went to the ER, then to his regular physician, then to an orthopedist, and got his first of two MRIs last week. Another MRI happens Tuesday, and surgery at some point next week. The sooner the better, we have that trip to Tahoe planned at the end of the month and he needs to be mobile for that walk over the state line to the casino. On the bright side, he's pretty entertaining when loopy on ye olde vicodin. Apparently, the orthopedist has "the good stuff."

Adding to last week's excitement, as I was driving to work Thursday morning, I didn't even make it to the office before the monster mobile decided it needed some quality time with the mechanic. I had felt something funky with the engine during the drive home from San Jose the night before and frankly was grateful it hadn't strand me in the dark, rainy south bay. I had a big meeting in the City that afternoon, and ended up taking the bus into the SF to attend and driving home with my boss (no way I was driving M's rattly deathtrap stick-shift there). Thank goodness there was a break in all the rain that day--I just picked a street corner upon which to debark the bus and it took a few minutes before I could grab a cab to the meeting.

I got the Cadillac back Friday afternoon, but even that had a scoche of drama. The bill was a less than I thought, but my malaprop-ly voluble mechanic complained not once but twice about the crappy spark plugs that "someone" had put in last time. I didn't say anything, but--of course--he was the one who had replaced them. When I got home, I dug out the bill from three years ago and--of course--he had charged me for the swanky plugs. That made me sad. In the main, I think he charges a reasonable amount, and the shop is close to my house, so he often picks me up and drops me off when M can't--as he couldn't last week. Wondering if I should call him on it. Or find another mechanic. Or just let that sleeping grease monkey lie.

Happy National Poetry Month!

At Our Conference on Wednesday

2010-04-02T08:26:00.001-07:00

Where 2.0 Exhibit Hall
Originally uploaded by O'Reilly Conferences

...in San Jose. I didn't stay the night. Remind me not to look so old and tired next time!

Dreaming

2010-03-27T10:04:00.001-07:00

More backyard
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

It's Saturday morning in spring, probably my favorite regularly occurring time. I think ahead happily (perhaps because I'm a Virgo) to my chores--sweeping the kitchen floor, opening the house to the clear air once it warms a little, laundry, clearing the accumulation on my craft room table. I've already watered the plants, tended the furry children, and balanced my checkbook. We're toying with the idea of clearing out the side yards today--not sure how they've accumulated so much crap, but there it is. I don't think M will have to try very hard to talk me out of my hare-brained idea of creating some sort of art with the leftover wine-barrel-planter hoops that have sat for a good year now. What do to with the slabs of granite leftover from the kitchen re-do? One would make a fine (long) shelf, but the other pieces are rough-edged and oddly shaped. The old fencing from the annexation project squats rusting on our patio, and that really has to go too, and soon. There's also the possibility of purchasing a peach tree to plant in the back yard, and I think our window of opportunity on that is narrowing quickly. But…it's a beautiful day. Seems a shame not to do it a little homage by reading on the back deck in the afternoon. Maybe it will be a grill-focused dinner this evening. We received our 2009 Best Recipes edition of Cooks Illustrated yesterday, I'm sure we'll find something inspiring amongst its pages. What a fine chore that will be.

Just typing that all up has made me feel like I've already accomplished a great deal today!

I think my other favorite time is towards the end of day like today--closing the windows and doors, turning the lights on, starting dinner. I'm not sure what about that is so comforting. Maybe just the nesting instinct welling up?

I'm dreaming more lately, and I'm not sure what that's about. Or maybe just more vividly, and therefore remembering them. They haven't all been pleasant, but for some reason I really enjoy them, cat warts (poor Veronica, she was covered with them!) and all. Maybe it's just pleasure at squeezing one more creative experience into the day without any additional conscious effort on my part.

M and I treated ourselves to a really nice dinner out last night. We do a horrendous amount of take-out, far more than we should, but haven't actually had a real restaurant experience in a while. And this one was very satisfying--good service, which we're becoming very picky about for some reason, good food, and not outrageously priced. It was a little loud, but we sat together on the banquette side enjoying being close, admiring our many dishes (we were very hungry, so that may have contributed to the satisfaction level), watching the ebb and flow of staff and patrons. I do love people-watching.

Knitting report: I've finished a couple of booties to match the devil hat, but they're very different sizes since I was experimenting with that, so will have to whip up two to match in time for the shower next month. I've also got to continue to make headway on the dress. After a false start with the fancy border--I didn't convert the pattern right to take into account that I was using circular needles, which was going to be fine until I discovered after it was completed that I had twisted at the join, resulting in an interesting but unusable moebius-strip-like creation--I got it mostly right, and now just have to buckle down and get through the monotony of stockinette for a bit.

Happy Spring!

2010-03-21T12:56:00.000-07:00

I'm in the Applebox, waiting for writing pals to join me. There's a young couple across from me meeting with a somewhat older woman (she's probably my age), she mentioned something about her "services" and she's asking them questions about their "story"--maybe she's going to officiate at their wedding? Nice to think about.

I've had a hard time adjusting to the time change. I've really been enjoying the lighter evenings, but that means that dinner gets started later, pushing back the nightly TV watching ritual, making bedtime later, making it harder to wake up in the morning. And I seemed to have more activities than usual after work last week. On Tuesday, M and I went to a community meeting about a project that's proposed for the fairgrounds, just a couple of blocks from our house. It's a semi-permanent farmers market, kind of like the Pike's Place market in Seattle. M is very excited about it--I think he thinks that he'll never have to cook again, much as he enjoys it when he actually does it.

I also got my hair trimmed after work on Wednesday, something I normally do on weekends. My hair gal left her one-woman salon and opened a new place this month with many more stations--she's bringing in other stylists and a nail gal. It's the kind of place I never would have walked in to--too intimidating--but I'm devoted to her, so I'll continue to go. I toyed with the idea of getting a whole new 'do, but didn't. Maybe next time. Maybe I'll even get a pedicure soon, I really liked the one I got at the Luxor in Vegas over Christmas. Sandal weather is coming.

I think our fence efforts are paying off--Rex is not escaping anymore, as far as we know. M mowed the "annexed" area yesterday, and it looks really nice. I think we should plant a peach tree back there. It's my favorite fruit, and I think it would be the right size to screen the fences from our backyard view.

Suddenly It's Lighter Later

2010-03-14T20:53:00.003-07:00

Devil hat, complete!
Originally uploaded by suzipaw

I was too embarrassed to post this on Facebook, but I trust you with this TMI:

You know you're a hypocrite and/or bad bachelorette when: you wander through the lowbrow supermarche with a six-pack of beer and frozen pizza in your basket mentally criticizing the tweakers and other challenged shoppers (I witnessed a woman hauling her skirt out of her pantyhose in the pet food aisle while another woman declared "...I just hate it when noone tells me, so I thought I'd tell you!") while wearing a tshirt and socks you haven't removed in the last 36 hours and two dog-walks.

And Hello! My name is Suzanne and I'm a knitaholic.

I should be getting ready for the gym tomorrow and bed, but the late sunset has thrown me off. Chocolate chip cookies are almost done, so back to Bleak House and the stockinette stich in purple cotton.